At Midnight In A Hospital, Inside A Lift, There Was A Nurse & A Girl.

They Were Passng Through 3rd Floor Which Was A Mortuary. Suddenly The Door Of The Lift Opens.

They Saw A Boy Rushing To Get Inside.

The Nurse Was Frightend & Closed The Lift Imediatly.

The Girl Got Curious & Asked The Nurse: “Are You Okay & Why Did You Do That?”

Nurse (Panting): “I Know Him. He Is One Of Our Patients Who Died Yesterday. Did You See That Red Tag On His Wrist. We Put Red Tag On Dead Patients.”

In The Dim Light Of Lift The Girl Suddnly Raised Her Wrist & Askd Smiling: “Do You Mean This Red Tag?”

And The Lights Went Off …

Teacher : What’s wrong ?
John: Our house is very small.
John: My mum,my dad, we sleep on the
same bed. Every night my dad asks, John are
you sleeping ? Then I say No & then he slaps
my face & gives me a Black eye”
Teacher: Tonight when your dad asks again,
keep dead quiet. don’t answer . The
following morning John comes back with a
severe black eye again.
Teacher: My goodness, Why the black eye
again ?
John: Dad asked me again, John are you
sleeping ? I shut up & kept dead still.Then
my dad and my mom started moving, you
know, at the same time Mum was breathing
like a Christmas chicken, kicking her legs up
frantically and squealing like a Hyena on the
bed. Then my dad asked my mum, Are you
coming ? Mum said, Yes I’m coming, are you
coming too ? Dad answered:- Yes. They
don’t usually go anywhere without me so I
said, wait for me, I’m coming too

Beggar to a lady: You look like an angel. Kindly give some alms to this blind beggar.
Wife: Look how he is trying to cheat telling he is blind.
Husband: He sure should be blind.
Wife: How do you say?
Husband: He told that you look like an angel.

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock. The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last $600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale.
Upon leaving, she tells her sister, “When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I’ll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home.”
The brunette arrives at the man’s ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news.
She walks into the telegraph office, and says, “I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I’ve bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home.”
The telegraph operator explains that he’ll be glad to help her, then adds, “It’s just 99 cents a word.”
Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she’ll only be able to send her sister one word.
After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, “I want you to send her the word, ‘comfortable.’”
The telegraph operator shakes his head. “How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, ‘comfortable’?”
The brunette explains, “My sister’s blonde. She’ll read it very slow.”

On the road to success,
there’s a curve called failure,
a loop called confusion,
speed bumps called friends and red lights called enemies.

At an art gallery, a woman and her ten-year-old son were having 
a tough time choosing between one of my paintings and another artist’s work. They finally went with mine.

“I guess you decided you prefer an autumn scene to a floral,” I said.

“No,” said the boy. “Your painting’s wider, so it’ll cover three holes in 
our wall.”