Teacher: “Who Created The Earth?”

(Boy Pokes A Girl’s Back With A Pen)

Girl: “Oh God!”

Teacher: “Good Girl. Correct Answer”

Teacher Again Asked: “Who Was Born On 25 Dec?”

(Boy Again Pokes The Girls Back)

Girl: “Oh Jesus!”

Teacher: “Very Good. Correct Answer”

Teacher Again Asked: “What Did Eve Tell To Adam When They Had Their 17th Baby?”

(Boy Pokes On Girl’s Back Again)

Girl: “If You Don’t Stop Inserting That Thing In Me Now. I’ll Break That Into 2 Pieces And Just Put It Into Your Nostrils.”

Teacher Fainted!!

Lady: Do you smoke?
Guy: Yes I do.
Lady: How many packs a day?
Guy: Three. Lady: How much per pack?
Guy: Ten dollars.
Lady: And how long have you been smoking?
Guy: 15 years.
Lady: So one pack is $10 and you’ve been smoking three packs a day, which puts your monthly spend at $900. In one year it would’ve been $10,800. Correct?
Guy: Yes.
Lady: If you spend $10,800 a year, not accounting for inflation, the past 15 years puts your total spend at $162,000. Correct?
Guy: Yes.
Lady: Do you know if you hadn’t smoked, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after calculating compound interest for the past 15 years, you could’ve by now bought a Ferrari?
Guy: Yes. Oh! Do you smoke?
Lady: No.
Guy: Then where’s your fucking Ferrari?

Follow your heart but take the mind with you.
If they are two-faced, don’t forget God gave you
two hands to slap on their two faces at the same time!

When A Black Cat Pass By…
Whites : It Adorable, Isn’t☺…
Black : Umangobe😱😱, In Jesus Name Fire!, Fire!

In Africa you will go to a pharmacy and say you want to buy condoms and people will look at you like you want to buy a bomb.. who bewitched you my people?

Santa’s Complaint To Flipkart Support Center:

Dear Flipkart, I Always Opt For “Cash On Delivery”
But Your Delivery Boy Never Gives Me The Cash!

Tell him he is handsome not cool
he’s man not an ice cream.

Which Of These Sentence Gave You A Great Joy When You Were In School?
1. Go Out For Break
2. Test Is Cancelled
3. Take A Sheet Of Paper
4. Answer Only One Question
5. Go Back Home There Is No School
6. The Mathematics Teacher Is Sick
7. If You Know You Owe School Fees, Walk Out.
Just indicate with number only.

The Hardest Thing To Do Is Leaving Your House
While Your Phone Is On 3%

A Pastor found a baboon that could talk. So he taught it how to sing, pray and preach.
At one Sunday service, the Pastor said to the congregation,
“The Baboon is going to pray today.”
The Baboon sat still and the Pastor repeated over and over again “The Baboon is going to pray today”, but the Baboon did not respond.
After the service pastor asked the Baboon, “Why didn’t you want to pray when I asked you to?” and the Baboon answered, “Was it necessary to call me Baboon? Everybody here is referred to as Brother irrespective of their status in life. You could have at least said Brother Babs!” 😂😂😂😃😃Everyone deserve little R*E*S*P*E*C*T