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Stupid Answers for Stupid Questions
1. Someone calls you at 2:am in
the night and ask you “are you
sleeping?”
Ans: no, I’m picking beans.
2. You’re making out with a girl
then you start pulling her pants
then she asks; what are you trying to
do?
Ans: I want to wash them for you
3. They see you coming out of
the bathroom, wet; ”did you just have
a bath?”
Ans: no, I fell into the toilet bowl
4. You standing right in front of
the elevator on the ground floor
going to your office, yet they ask;
”going up?”
Ans: no, I’m waiting for my office
to come down and meet me!
5. Your boyfriend comes home
with a bunch of flowers and you
still asks him; ”are those flowers?”
Ans: no baby, they’re carrots!
6. You’re in the queue at the
cinema to buy tickets, a friend
sees you and ask; ”what are you
doing here?”
Ans: I’m here to pay my school
fees!
7. When people see you lying
down with your eyes closed, they
still ask; ”are you sleeping?”
Ans: No! I’m practicing to die.
8. You went to a restaurant n the
waiter asks you: ”Plz can I get
you a table?”
Ans: No. I’m here to eat on the
floor.
9. Are you reading this post?
Ans:…..??????!!!!

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If after Dating a guy for 5-8 years,He leaves you for someone else.
My sister take a taxi to his house and ask him for an Award for Long Service

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If you cheated on her and she dumps you then
after few month you ask for love back and
she agrees, just know she’s gonna pay revenge..
it’s her turn now my nigga.

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Why did we break (me n my ex) ? Well, few months back it was my birthday(AUGUST). My ex girl didn’t wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my friends . I went to school and even my class mates didn’t wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my class, my bestie ( girl friend) said, “Happy birthday, !” I felt so special. She asked me out for chill. After chillin’ she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, “Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?” “Okay,” I said. She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my ex , my parents, my friends , my classmates , & my cousins all yelling, “SURPRISE!!!” while I was waiting on the sofa… naked

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When you leave🚶 the store without buying anything
and you’re telling yourself “act normal, you’re innocent”

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Follow your heart but take the mind with you.
If they are two-faced, don’t forget God gave you
two hands to slap on their two faces at the same time!

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Boy : where are you going now?
Girl : for suicide..
Boy : then, why so much make-up?
Girl : you idiot.. tomorrow my Photo will come in newspaper

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*Statistical Data*
Different types of phone call duration:
*Boy to Boy* 00:00:59
*Boy to Mom* 00:00:50
*Boy to Dad* 00:00:30
*Boy to Girl* 01:23:59
*Girl to Girl* 05:29:59
*Girl to Boy* Missed call
*Husband to Wife* 00:00:03
*Wife to Husband* 14 Missed Calls

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A Rich Woman Stops On A Traffic Signal And A Begger Come To Her For Begging.

Woman Confused: “Arrey, I Have Seen You Somewhere.”

Beggar: “Madam, Don’t You Remember? I Am Your Friend On Facebook.“

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Today In A Class During Our First Period.
Teacher Entered Our Class And Greet Us.
Then The Teacher Start To Talk.
Teacher : Our Topic For Today Is Photosynthesis.
Class : Okay Sir
Teacher : Matome What Is Photosynthesis?
Matome : Photosynthesis Is Our Topic Of Today.

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Me: Hello Police, help me 50 people are following me
Police: Ok,Calm down,where are you?
Me: On Instagram

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The shortest conversation in the world is when you are in the toilet and someone open the door!!
You: Ah:/
The Person: Oh:>

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That moment you got a p*rn video u are putting it in yr father’s dvd while he is at work,boom the electricity goes off nd u are unpluging the dvd carrying it like a laptop the whole

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When you are beautiful on facebook but ugly in real life.
You shld be arrested for misleading the public!!

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I onces blocked my mom’s slap… The next day she was telling all the relatives and her friends that I wanted to kill her!!!

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True happiness is when you sitting next to your landlord in church..whilst you haven’t paid yr rent and the pastor says “Turn around nd tell your neighbour jesus has paid my debts

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