My Dog Is Very Useless We Were Both Chased By Another Dog

Facebook got 50year old women saying they are single because they haven’t met the right guy. You gonna meet him soon, his name is Jesus

A monkey and a baboon were seated next to each other during a service in church…….the pastor said; turn to your neighbour and say you are beautiful and adorably created in the image of God. Monkey looks at the baboon for a moment, then laughs out loudly and tells the pastor………eish; tell him yourself, I don’t want to lie in church”

*Why MEN are important ??*👨🏻

1. You can’t spell (Madam)👩🏻
without the (Adam)👨🏻in it

2. Neither can you spell (Woman) 👩🏻
without the (Man)👨🏻

3. You also cannot spell (Female)👩🏻
without the (Male)👨🏻

4. Nor spell (She)👩🏻
without the (He)👨🏻

5. You most definitely cannot spell (Mrs)👩🏻
without the (Mr)👨🏻

6. and finally, in prayers, we continue to say (Amen) �
and not (A-women)…

*Dedicated to All Wonderful MEN*😄

*HAPPY INTERNATIONAL MEN’S DAY*

WHO ARE U DECEIVING ?
You got angry in church and stopped being the member of the choir, left ushering, stopped sanctuary cleaning and every other work you were doing in church.
Eventually you’ve stopped going to the church because someone spoke to you in a way you didn’t like…
Most of the messages from the pulpit was against you from your opinion…
Nobody called you when you were sick because according to you, “they do not love or care in the church…”
But pls excuse me…
You’ve not stopped working for the boss who insults you most of the time, neither have you stopped work because your colleagues spoke ill of you… (Money was the reason)
When you were sick, you didn’t wait for your boss to call you or look for you at work. Rather, you called and told him about your present condition. No complaint about him not visiting you (Fear of query or loss of the job)
Do you remember that at school, your teachers, your schoolmates and or even your best friends offended you, yet you didn’t stop schooling..
You can easily miss Church but not lectures because the lecturer will take attendance which counts in assessment
You can be late with your appointment with God at Church but you will be extra early for your visa interview at the embassy… �
Who are you deceiving?
I don’t blame you too much. Maybe you don’t know or you don’t have adequate revelation about Church…
Please, Hear Me! Church is not a “No Offense Club” where all things must be done to please you and you alone.
What have you done in church for the good of others?
According to Scripture the first knowledge everybody must have about Church is that… It’s The House Of God and The Gate of Heaven…
Genesis 28:17…
Your service to God must be with reverential fear, honor and respect.
God is watching… � _
Change your attitude.
Please Share with your friends and let’s effect a positive change for God

Double heart attack message from my wife to me today:
1st SMS: Let’s break up now, it’s all over.

2nd SMS: Sorry, Sorry, Sorry! That was not for you!

The population of females in the world is more than twice the population of males, yet every girl has a boyfriend.*

Her: Hey
Me: Hlw
Her: Can I tell u something??
Me: Yes
Her: I have a crush on you?
Me: Close your eyes and tell me what you see??
Her: Nothing
Me: ✋😏That’s my feelings for you

A pastor announced, “If you know your wife is controlling you, move to the left”. All the men in the church moved to left except one man . The pastor was amused and asked,”How come ur wife can’t control you?”The man quietly replied, “it’s my wife who told me not to move”

Stay Away From Friends Who Become Moody After Getting Paid..!

Remember when you thought you’d die when your ex left you?
Look at you now, all strong and ready for the next heartbreak.

Love can make u see your girlfriend as the most beautiful girl on earth, 😃😃,break up and see how ugly the idiot is

Bride: Free mode
Groom: Free mode
•°••°•°••°•
Are we going to eat at your wedding..??

When someone says: “I don’t want a relationship right now”. The “at least not with you” is silent..!

Never introduce yourself to a lifestyle you can’t afford. Remember you have a life to live NOT a community to impress..!

Some Exes Need To Understand That Even If We Hear That They Are Now Doctors We Won’t Regret A Thing