I actually talked to a “female” today
Am I still a virgin?
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I wanna change my dp
Coz some people were die after watching my old dp
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Man 1: “I Do Not Want To Marry Because I Am Afraid Of All Women”
Man 2: “Get Marry Soon Then U’ll Be Afraid Of Only One And Start Loving Other“
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Mintu:Teacher, Can I Go To The Bathroom?
Teacher:May I Go To The Bathroom?
Mintu:But I Asked First.
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There Was A Flood In A Village.
One Man Said To Everyone: “I’ll Stay! God Will Save Me!”
The Flood Got Higher And A Boat Came And The Man In It Said: “Come On Mate, Get In!”
“No, God Will Save Me!” Replied The Man.
The Flood Got Very High Now And The Man Had To Stand On The Roof Of His House.
A Helicopter Soon Came And The Man Offered Him Help.
“No, God Will Save Me!” He Said
Eventually He Died By Drowning.
He Got By The Gates Of Heaven And He Said To God: “Why Didn’t You Save Me?”
God Replied: “For Goodness Sake! I Sent A Boat And A Helicopter. What More Do You Want!“
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If You Paint With Rs. 40,000 Royal Paint,
Your Home Will Look Colorful.
But If You Drink Rs.400/- Royal Stag,
The Whole World Will Look Colorful.
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A Man Got Two Wishes From God.
He Asked For The Best Drink And Best Woman.
The Next Moment He Got Bisleri And Mother Teresa.
Moral: Investment Matters Are Subject To Market Risks. Please Read The Offer Document Carefully Before Investing.
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Some Facts That Will Definitely Make You Feel Old:
1. Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge Was Released 19 Years Ago.
2. Windows Xp Was Released 13 Years Ago, In 2001.
3. The New Millennium Is More Than A Decade Old.
4. Chetan Bhagats Antics Have Been Around For The Past 10 Years!
5. Pierce Brosnan Last Acted As James Bond 12 Years Ago.
6. The Delhi Metro Has Been Running For 12 Years Now.
7. Its Been 13 Years Since 9/11
8. The Matrix Came Out 15 Years Ago, Keanu Reeves Is 49 Today
9. Mother Theresa And Lady Diana Have Been Dead For 17 Years.
10. Remember Jungle Book On Doordarshan? That Was More Than 18 Years Ago.
11. Macaulay Culkin Is 33 Today. Home Alone Came Out Over 23 Years Ago.
12. Terminator 2 Is 23 Years Old. Edward Furlong Who Portrayed Kid John Connor Is 36 Now.
13. Sean Connery Is 82 Years Old And Retired.
14. The Youngest Spice Girl Is 37, The Oldest Backstreet Boy 41, Gwen Stefani Is 43, Madonna 54
15. The First Harry Potter Book Came Out 17 Years Ago!
16. The First Season Of F.R.I.E.N.D.S Was Aired 17 Years Ago!
17. Akshay Kumar Was Born In 1967!
18. Arnold Schwarzenegger Is Older Than Independent India. He Was Born In June 1947
19. Kids Born In 1996 Can Legally Drive, Drink And Vote This Year.
20. Jurassic Park Is Older Than Justin Bieber.
21. Rajiv Gandhi Has Been Dead For 21 Years.
22. Bryan Adams Cult Song Summer Of 69? Was Released 29 Years Ago.
23. Kids Whom You Remember In Their Diapers Are Posting Their Pics On Facebook.
24. Facebook Has Been Around For 10 Years. Orkut For 12.
25. Remember The Little Girl From Kuch Kuch Hota Hai? She Is 26 Now.
26. The Maruti Zen Was First Introduced 22 Years Ago….
So Guys Don’t Smile Reading This.
Its High Time You Realize That You Are Getting Old.. Older And Soon You Would Be Oldest…..
Time Is Flying And There Is A Very Short Life So Just Make Every Moment Special And Live Every Moment Before It Becomes History.
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Lord please teach me to speak the
right words at the right time with the right tone,
that I may live peaceable with my neighbors..
Amen.
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That happy moment
when your friend returns your money
after you have almost forgot about it..
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Some people are like:
– doesn’t eat healthy
– never has 8 hrs sleep
– never works out
– drinks 0.5ml of water a day
– unorganized mess
and also asks: why am I sad?
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Man To Super Hot Air-Hostess: “What Is Your Name?”
Air-Hostess: “Eva Benz!”
Man: “Wow, Lovely Name, Any Relation With Mercedes Benz?”
Air-Hostess Replied Smiling: “Yes, Same Price!!“
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One Day, While A Woodcutter Was Cutting A Branch Of A Tree Above A River, His Axe Fell Into The River.
When He Cried Out, The Lord Appeared And Asked: “Why Are You Crying?”
The Woodcutter Replied: “His Axe Has Fallen Into Water, And He Needed The Axe To Make His Living”
The Lord Went Down Into The Water And Reappeared With A Golden Axe.
The Lord Asked: “Is This Your Axe?”
The Woodcutter Replied: “No”
The Lord Again Went Down And Came Up With A Silver Axe.
The Lord Asked: “Is This Your Axe?”
Again, The Woodcutter Replied: “No”
The Lord Went Down Again And Came Up With An Iron Axe.
The Lord Asked: “Is This Your Axe?”
The Woodcutter Replied: “Yes”
The Lord Was Pleased With The Man’s Honesty And Gave Him All Three Axes To Keep, And The Woodcutter Went Home Happy.
Some Time Later The Woodcutter Was Walking With His Wife Along The Riverbank, And His Wife Fell Into The River.
When He Cried Out, The Lord Again Appeared And Asked Him: “Why Are You Crying?”
The Woodcutter Replied: “Oh Lord, My Wife Has Fallen Into The Water”
The Lord Went Down Into The Water And Came Up With Angelina Jolie
The Lord Asked: “Is This Your Wife?”
The Woodcutter Cried: “Yes”
The Lord Was Furious. “You Lied! That Is An Untruth”
The Woodcutter Replied: “Oh, Forgive Me, My Lord. It Is A Misunderstanding. You See, If I Had Said ‘No’ To Angelina Jolie, You Would Have Come Up With Aishwarya Rai. Then If I Said ‘No’ To Her, You Would Have Come Up With My Wife. Had I Then Said ‘Yes’ You Would Have Given Me All Three. Lord, I Am A Poor Man, And Am Not Able To Take Care Of All Three Wives, So That’s Why I Said ‘Yes’ To Angelina Jolie”
Moral Of The Story: “Whenever A Man Lies, It Is For A Good And Honorable Reason, And For The Benefit Of Others.
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What Is True Love?
When Wife Pulls Her Husband (Who’s Fully Drunk) To Bed
& Tries Removing His Shirt
& Husband Replies: “Lady Leave Me Alone I Am Maried“
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Boy On Call: “Hello 911, I Need Your Help.”
911: “Okay, What Is It?”
Boy: “Two Girl Are Fighting Over Me.”
911: “So What’s Your Emergency?”
Boy: “The Ugly One Is Winning.”
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Dual Heart Attack Message By A Girl.
1st Message: “Let’s Breakup Now, Its All Over”
2nd Message: “Sorry-Sorry, That Was Not For You“
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