*I intentionally put my grandma’s phone on silent mode then I told her the ring tone is finished…
She gave me money today to buy another ringtone…*

Can’t Wait To Have Twins And
Name Them Finish & Klaar

What Is The Difference Between Men And Women?

1. A Successful Man Is One Who Makes More Money Than His Wife Can Spend. A Successful Woman Is One Who Can Find Such A Man.

2. Men Wake Up As Good-Looking As When They Went To Bed. Women Somehow Deteriorate During The Night.

3. A Man Will Pay $2 For A $1 Item He Wants. A Woman Will Pay $1 For A $2 Item That She Doesn’t Want.

4. A Woman Marries A Man Expecting He Will Change, But He Doesn’t. A Man Marries A Woman Expecting That She Won’t Change, And She Does.

5. There Are Two Times When A Man Doesn’t Understand A Woman Before And After Marriage.

6. A Woman Worries About The Future Until She Gets A Husband. A Man Never Worries About The Future Until He Gets A Wife.

7. To Be Happy With A Man, You Must Understand Him A Lot And Love Him A Little. To Be Happy With A Woman, You Must Love Her A Lot And Not Try To Understand Her At All.

8. Any Married Man Should Forget His Mistakes. There’s No Use In Two People Remembering The Same Thing!

9. A Woman Has The Last Word In Any Argument. Anything A Man Says After That Is The Beginning Of A New Argument.

10. Women Look At A Wedding As The Beginning Of Romance, While Men Look Aat A Wedding As The Ending Of Romance.

Suppose You Lost Your Pen?

Lost Your Pen – No Pen

No Pen – No Notes

No Notes – No Study

No Study – Fail

Fail – No Diploma

No Diploma – No Work

No Work – No Money

No Money – No Food

No Food – Skinny

Skinny – Ugly

Ugly – No Lover

No Lover – No Marriage

No Marriage – No Children

No Children – Alone

Alone – Depression

Depression – Sickness

Sickness – Death

Moral: So Never Lose Your Pen

Two Boys Were Arguing When The Teacher Entered The Classroom.

Teacher: “Why Are You Arguing?”

A Boy: “Miss, We Found A 100 Dollar Note And Decided To Give It To Whoever Tells The Biggest Lie.”

Teacher: “You Should Be Ashamed Of Yourselves, When I Was Your Age I Didn’t Even Know What A Lie Was.”

The Boys Gave The 100 Dollar To The Teacher.

A Pastor found a baboon that could talk. So he taught it how to sing, pray and preach.
At one Sunday service, the Pastor said to the congregation,
“The Baboon is going to pray today.”
The Baboon sat still and the Pastor repeated over and over again “The Baboon is going to pray today”, but the Baboon did not respond.
After the service pastor asked the Baboon, “Why didn’t you want to pray when I asked you to?” and the Baboon answered, “Was it necessary to call me Baboon? Everybody here is referred to as Brother irrespective of their status in life. You could have at least said Brother Babs!” 😂😂😂😃😃Everyone deserve little R*E*S*P*E*C*T

TEACHER: TODAY’S TOPIC IS NUTRITION.
.
TEACHER : What is Nutrition class?
TUMELO: Nutrition is our topic today
TEACHER : How can we keep our school clean?
TUMELO: By staying at home .
TEACHER : What do you call mosquitoes in your
language?
TUMELO: We don’t call them, they come on their own.
(teacher faint)
TEACHER : Name the nation people hate most
TUMELO: Exami-nation (teacher fainted)
TEACHER : One day our country will be corruption free.
what tense
is that??
TUMELO: Future impossible tense
TEACHER : What do we call a small Lizard in
English??
TUMELO: Lizzy baby (Teacher faint)
TEACHER : John is climbing a tree to pick some
mangoes. ( Write and begin with Mangoes)
TUMELO: Mangoes, John is coming to pick you.
TEACHER: What do we call a male duck in English??
TUMELO: Mr Duck
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Little Johnny’s teacher noticed that he was sporting a black eye. She asked him what happened, and he replied, “Ma’am, you remember I told you how I sleep on the floor next to my parent’s bed? Well, last night, my dad asked me if I was still awake, I said yes and then he punched me in the face.”
“Ok, Johnny”, the teacher said, trying to help, ” the next time your dad asks you if you’re still awak…
e, don’t answer, just lay still and pretend to be asleep.”
All went well, until a few weeks later, Little Johnny came to class with another black eye. The teacher asked him why he didn’t follow her advice.
Johnny explained, “Ma’am, I tried to, when dad asked me if I was awake, I kept quiet and lay really still, and pretended to be asleep, but then Dad said ‘I’m coming’, and Mom said ‘I’m coming too’, and I didn’t want them to go anywhere without me, so I shouted, ‘Let me just put on my slippers, I’m coming too’ and that’s when I got punched in the face

Husband:I heard our neighbour slept with all the women in this block except one and I wonder who she is?
•
Wife:Maybe its Mamfundisi down the road,that woman is stubborn..

In Mzansi When a lady enters a guy’s room and
about 9mins time u hear loud music
Then u know things are getting better