When you all are broke and bae has a gold tooth ,
decision time

That moment when your girlfriend introduces you to her sisters and you realise that you are actually dating the ugliest among them all.

Wife: I have good news nd bad news for you.. Which one I shld start with??

Husband: Im very busy tell me the good news only

Wife: The air bags in our AUDI is working nicely!!

Pls am very sorry for not updating regularly
this days, it’s because my iPhone 6 had a
problem and my iPad battery is dead, my sister is with
my Samsung galaxy note 4. Am just here at home
sitting alone since my parents travelled to
London. I would have loved to Skype with you but I
misplaced my Apple laptop power pack, so I have to hit
south Africa to get a new one. I wanted to visit the
mall tonight but my aunt went out with my bugatti
and my junior brother is out with the 2014 range
rover, the Toyota highlander had a little problem, the
tyre of Honda CRV is flat and I hate driving Lexus jeep
at night, I tried calling our driver to come and
pick me with my mums Ferrari but I don’t have any
credit , so can you please send me Load
so that I can call him plz?

We the National Association of Husbands
And Boyfriends’ (NAHAB), wish to announce
our annual 3 days strike which will commence
on 13 FEB and end on 16 FEB.
Please note; our cellphones will not
be working during the strike & our
relationship commitments will commence
on the 17 FEB, we apologise for any
inconvenience to our wives & girlfrends
who were hoping to be with us on valentines day.

So, wats yo response? Is it:
(a) Viva NAHAB viva!!!! or
(b)

An Israeli doctor says: “In Israel, medicine is so advanced that we cut off a man’s liver put them on another man, and in 6 weeks, he is looking for work.”

The German doctor says: “That’s nothing,
in Germany we take part of a brain, put it in another man, and in 4 weeks he is looking for work.”

The Russian doctor says: “Gentlemen, we take half a heart from a man, put it in another’s chest, and in 2 weeks he is looking for work.”

The American doctor laughs: “You all are behind us. Two days ago, we took a man with no brains, no heart, and no liver and made him President.

Now, the whole country is looking for work!”

Welcome to South Africa where :

1. Bathrooms have became photoshoot Studios.
2. Where young girls call old men enough to be
their fathers…”Baby,My Blesser,My Honey,My
Love…Sweety.
3. Where Beer is more important than Water.
4. Where sex is free but Love is Costly.
5. Where crime and rape is high than Education.
6. Where people wear expensive clothes but their
Bedroom Doors,kitchen Units and Wardrobes are
falling apart.
7. Where nowadays Ladies fear for pregnancy
than Aids.
8. Where funerals turned into a platform for
fashion,style and parties.
9. Where young girls look forward to putting their
signatures on the Social Grants than Job
Contracts.
10. Where Pizza Deliveries are faster than an
Emergency Response.
11. Where buying a car is a great achievement
than buying a House.
12. Where loosing a phone is more painful than
loosing your Virginity.
13. Where Churchs are turning into Dating
Points.
14. Where Parliament is turned into Circus.
15. Where Pubs,Clubs and Taverns are more
important than School.
16. Where getting a Smart Phone is greater than
achieving a Degree.
17. Where Abortion Pains are a way painful than
period pains.
18. Where you kill an animal like Rhino you get a
Life Sentence in Prison,But when you Kill a
Human Being you get 6 years in prison.
19. Where beautiful girls are getting 100+Likes
on social networks everyday,but the Ugly ones
are getting degrees and getting married every
Saturdays.

Since my girlfriend gave birth, everything in my life has changed including my name, adress, cellphone number, back account everything.