Most girls don’t cry after break up these days,
they behave like cashiers in the bank….
next customer please.

Dear Friends, may your life upgrade this year like Alexis Sanchez’s who…

1: Moved from 6th to 2nd place in the Premier League table without playing a match.

2: Jumped from Europa League to last 16 of Champions League without struggle.

3: Qualified for FA Cup 5th round regardless of Nottingham Forest defeat.

Amen!!!

Donald Trump wants to paint the white house. He calls for quotations.
Chinese guy quoted 3 million.
European guy quoted 7 million.
Zimbabwean guy quoted 10 million.
Trump asked Chinese guy, “how did you come about 3 million?”
Chinese guy replies, “1 million for paint, 1 million for labour, 1 million profit.”
Trump asked the European guy the same question and he replied, “3 million for paint, 2 million for labour,
2 million profit”.
Again Trump asked the zimbabwean guy the same question, He replied; “4 million for you, 3 million for me,
and we will give 3 million to the Chinese guy to do the job!!!”
Let me park here

American girl status i miss u Mike

British girl status oh gosh i miss u Leonard

Zimbabwean girl status i miss someone and you know your self

STOP IT!!!killing 10 boys with 1 statement

Six great confusions still unresolved 😄😂

1. At a movie theatre, which arm rest is yours?

2. In the word scent, is “S” silent or “C”?

3. If humans evolve from monkeys, why are monkeys still around?

4. Why is there a ‘D’ in fridge,
but not in refrigerator?

5. Who knew what time it was when the first clock was made?

6. If pro and con are opposites, wouldn’t the opposite of progress be…congress?

Vagaries of English Language! Enjoy!!!

This is how i cross the road when
I’m in joburg….
I look left and right for cars and bikes, look up for aeroplanes, look down for bombs, look back for kidnappers, hold my bag tight and watch the person beside me then walk zigzag to avoid bullets ”
If you don’t know me well you might think I am drunk

*Hello . Tomorrow is my phone’s birthday (10th birthday) I was thinking maybe we could have a surprise party. Let us all send airtime to my phone. My phone will be surprised,i know my phone very well it loves surprises. it will be nice if every one is involved. Thank u *

Do people who still don’t know the difference between ‘exist” and “exit” still exit?

Wonder why the word funeral starts with FUN?

-Why isn’t a Fireman called a Water-man?

– How come Lipstick doesn’t do what it says?

– If a Vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a Humanitarian eat?

– Why are goods sent by ship called CARGO and those sent by truck SHIPMENT?

– Why is it called ‘Rush Hour’ when traffic moves at its slowest then?

– How come Noses run and Feet smell?

– Why do they call it a TV ‘set’ when there is only one?

– What are you vacating when you go on a vacation?

I can never find the answers, can you?

When you’ve already said Goodnight😪 to your girlfriend👵
–
Boom your crush is online📲
You’ll be left with no choice but to tell your girlfriend something like
“Babe I’m giving the phone to my little brother now, he wanna chat with his girlfriend”

Guys I think my phone is acting up,
I keep pressing the home button but
when i look around I’m still at work

Romans Pizza should just swallow their pride and admit they are selling us bread

Four people that u can’t trust in this world…

1)Girls
2)Women
3)Ladies
4)Females

Somewhere in Africa there’s a 35 year old man who is mad that his mom didn’t leave money for bread

magine u spent R220 buying ur family KFC bucket & ur father gives u attitude when u tell him to wash the dishes afterwards.