A rabbit one day managed to break free from the laboratory where he had been born and brought up.As he scurried away from the fencing of the compound, he felt grass under his little feet and saw the dawn breaking for the first time in his life. ‘Wow, this is great,’ he thought.
It wasn’t long before he came to a hedge and, after squeezing under it he saw a wonderful sight lots of other bunny rabbits, all free and nibbling at the lush grass.
“Hey,” he called. “I’m a rabbit from the laboratory and I’ve just escaped. Are you wild rabbits?”
“Yes. Come and join us,” they cried.
Our friend hopped over to them and started eating the grass. I tasted so good. “What else do you wild rabbits do?” he asked.
“Well,” one of them said. “You see that field there? It’s got carrots growing in it. We dig them up and eat them.”
This, he couldn’t resist and he spent the next hour eating the most succulent carrots. They were wonderful.
Later, he asked them again, “What else do you do?”
“You see that field there? It’s got lettuce growing in it. We eat them as well.”
The lettuce tasted just as good and he returned a while later completely full. “Is there anything else you guys do?” he asked.
One of the other rabbits came a bit closer to him and spoke softly.
“There’s one other thing you must try. You see those rabbits there, “he said, pointing to the far corner of the field. “They’re girls. We make love to them. Go and try it.”
Well, our friend spent the rest of the morning s****ing his little heart out until, completely spent, he staggered back over to the guys.
“That was fantastic,” he panted.
“So are you going to live with us then?” one of them asked.
“I’m sorry, I had a great time but I can’t.”
The wild rabbits all stared at him, a bit surprised.
“Why? We thought you liked it here.”
“I do,” our friend replied. “But I must get back to the laboratory. I’m dying for a cigarette!”

I called my friend yesterday night at 10.30 pm on phone, he said he was very busy, working on a special Project “Aqua Thermal treatment of Ceramics, Aluminium and Steel under a constrained environment”.

I was impressed.

Later I realized – he was washing dishes , under the supervision of his wife !!

*English is a Beautiful language !!!*

A 7 year old daughter was looking at her mother’s voters ID card. A portion was written SEX:” F ” , she then started laughing until the mother asked why she was laughing. The girl said “I can’t believe you are so bad at sex that you even got an” F.” Now I understand why Daddy is always with the maid.?

Bra Solly walked in a bar and aggressively shouted his order to the barman.

“Please give me 250g steak and pap and give everyone 500g steak and pap because when I eat I want everyone else to eat as well!”
The barman gave him his meal and everyone else theirs. When they finished their meal he shouted another order.

“Give me a bottle of brandy and everyone else a bottle of whisky (johhnie walker black) because when I drink I want everyone to drink”.

Everyone was happy and they started singing Bra Solly’s praises saying SOLLY is the man!!

When Solly finished his drink he shouted again,

“Give me my bill and give everyone else their own bill because when I pay for my meal and drinks I want everyone to pay for theirs!”

Bra Solly will be buried this coming Saturday!

Dear Auntie Dolly.
I’ve tried to be slim ,eating healthy foods,jogging but it doesn’t work at all.
Please help me.

Reply from Dolly
Just take your husband’s phone and go to what’s app messages you be slim.

“A Bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an on coming truck,and everyone inside dies!”
Then they get to meet their Maker,and because of the grief they have experienced;He decided to grant them one wish each,before they enter Paradise.
They’re all lined up,and God asks the first one what the wish is?”
“I want to be Gorgeous,”and so God Snaps his fingers,and it is done.
The second one in line hears this and says,”I want to be gorgeous too.”Another snap of his fingers and the wish is granted.”
This goes on for a while,but when God is half way the line,
The last gy in Line(Stix) starts laughing.when there are only 10 people left,Stix is busy rolling on the floor…laughing.”
Finally,God reaches the last person which was Stix and God asked him what his whish will be?
Stix calm down,and says,
.
.
.
.
.
“Make Them All Ugly Again!”

“Nyaa was the only black man on a cruise ship that was about to sink.He was the toilet cleaner on that ship.
The white people looked among themselves for someone to pray but no one wanted to as everyone was scared!”
With tears in his eyes,the ship captain seddenly spotted Nyaa.He pointed his finger at him and shouted,”You! Pray For Us!”
Afraid,He would be punished for not listening,Nyaa agreed and started his prayer with confidence..

“Lord,as I was boarding this ship,it said “Whites Only!”
When I wanted to use the Bathroom,the sign said,”Whites Only!”
When I went to the Tables for food,it said,”Whites Only!”

So Lord, as this Ship is about to sink,I pray that the same rule apply..

“Amen!”

I went to a restaurant …

All the couples were seated there and no place for me to sit

I took out my mobile, placed near my ear and said loudly –

Bro come fast to this restaurant, she is seating here with someone else.

9 girls stood and ran away ..

I met a v smart Girl Richa practising as a lawyer , at the post office.

She was posting about 4 dozen cards.

I asked her what was the occasion?

She said that these were Valentine cards and signed as “Guess Who” and sent to all the married men in and around her society.

She said that last year she had posted about 2 dozen and was lucky to have about 4 divorce cases.

So this time she wanted to increase her business.

Teacher: alright class take out ur books
Nasty C : Hell no
Teacher : my class,rules
Busiswa : nomungafak’ipanty enelace yim’istering
Teacher : ( angry) are u talking to me ?
Emtee : Am talking about pearl Thusi
Teacher : I sad take out ur books
Distraction boys : haiiboo
Teacher : who said that ?
OkmalumkooltzKat : Nam’angazinje ngizwengento nje ithi Qgi
Teacher : I’ll beat you Beeny Maverick : ngizomemeza
Teacher : Hey you, why are u sleeping ?
Dr Malinga : anglalang’izolo
Teacher : why didn’t u sleep ?
Beeny Maverick : omunye phezkomunye
Teacher : i’ll tell ur principal about ur behaviour
Babes Wodumo : principal Mnganwam
Teacher : I’m serious Casper Nyovest : phumakim
Teacher : Cleo is that you ?
DJ Cleo : ak siyim yile Qgom

My Brother, if she insists she will eat pizza or chocolate today, tell her to go read Numbers 9:11. The scripture is specific on the food to be taken on 14 February.

Num 9:11 In the second month on the fourteenth day in the evening they shall keep it; they shall eat it with unleavened bread and bitter herbs.
You get it? For today the laws of Moses will work

You text her on 20:00
She respond @ 20:02

What she was doing at 20:01??

You text her on 20:00
She respond @ 20:02

What she was doing at 20:01??

Some of you they never text their mothers on womens day to wish them bt today they will spend a lot of money to their womans who are cheating on them!!

In an emergency, I`d probably write status about it
before calling the police.