Your boyfriend’s Zambuk container is filled with Vaseline and you think you’re irreplaceable..

Who do you think you are?

Every Girl Should Be Treated Like A Queen,
Even If She Looks Like A King

Three fastest forms of communications:

1. telephone.
2. television.
3. tell-a-woman.

If you want it even faster, tell her not to tell anyone.

Today is 2 March so whatever you do ,do it too much .When you love ,lov 2 March! When you talk ,talk 2 March! When you eat ,eat 2 March! When u drink,drink 2 March! Just do everything too Much ,it only gets 2 much once a year !!!

Koos comes home drunk and his wife is spitting mad and pushes him out of the house. She shouts to him that he is not coming inside when he is this state. Koos climbs into the dog kennel with the dog and falls asleep. The next evening he comes home again roaring drunk and the wife shoos him out of the house and again he climbs into the dog house with the dog. This goes on for 5 days in a row. The 6th evening, he comes home sober and the wife is very happy and allows him back in the house. The following evening Koos arrives home steaming drunk and the wife shoos him out of the house, so he starts to climb into the dog house when the dog bites him. Koos shouts at the dog “what was that for?” the dog replies…. “where were you last night?

I will never lie again.
Today I was coming back from church, in the kombi
there sat a very pretty girl. All the guys in the bus were
staring at her. Some of them passed their destinations
without knowing. As for me, I was very proud of myself because I sat next to her. I did all the signs I could to make her feel my presence
but all in vain. An idea came to my mind. I took my
phone and dialed a fake number as guys always
do to attract girls’ attention.
Me: Hello Sam, I’m calling to tell you that I can’t make it today because I’ve just received a call from our CEO asking me to replace him at
a meeting bcz he is not yet back in tge country. Pls tell my brother to use my Range Rover 2017 to pick my mum from her dentist’. I will be home late. Thanks Sam. I will Sam. Once again, Thanks.
All this while, the girl
was looking at me. I said in my heart that she would fall for me if I spoke to her now ..
Me: Hi baby, y r u looking at me like that? R u surprised?
Girl: Pls pick up your phone battery. It fell when u
were taking your phone out of your pocket…..
I couldn’t raise my head till I got off the kombi Happy new month..

Men with beards 50 years ago: “I’m going to the woods to chop down some trees.”

Men with beards today: “I’m going to the shops. There’s a new face mask that’s gluten-free.”

Any lady who looks great in her natural hair
is capable of stealing your man😆
Thats not even open for discussion

HOW TO LOCATE YOUR WIFE IN A CROWD WITHOUT WASTING YOUR CREDIT

If you go to a function, and there are many people. suddenly, your wife went to greet her friend, from there you can’t locate her again, don’t stress yourself calling her, just look for another beautiful lady and start talking to her, before you ask of her name your wife will be standing next to you…..

Its another way of saving your phone credit

She tag us and be like
I’m sleeping with Mbula and 32 others….
Like really..???
The truth will set you free….

During Sex..
Vilage girl:You are not wearing
condom?
Man:Yes
Village girl:Hope you are not HIV
positive?
Man:No am not
Village girl:Good…I dont want to
get that thing again
Man:Faints

If a girl changes clothes in front of you, then she’s either really interested, or thinks of you as just a friend.

Or hasn’t spotted you in the tree yet.

When you trying to be romantic by throwing
your
bae in bed and her head accidentally hits the
wall and she starts crying

This story touched my heart hope will touch
yours.
wife was in bed with her lover when she
heard her husband’s john key in the door.
“Stay where you are,” she said. “He’s so
drunk he won’t even notice you’re in bed
with me.” Sure enough,
the john lurched into bed none the wiser,
but a few minutes later,
through a drunken haze, he saw six feet
sticking out at the end of the bed.
John turned to his wife: “Hey, there are six
feet in this bed.
There should only be four. What’s going
on?”
“Nonsense,” said the wife. “You’re so drunk
you miscounted.
Get out of bed and try again. You can see
better from over there.
” John climbed out of bed and counted.
“One, two, three, four. You’re right, you
know.”

Ugly girls be like
Him: Hi
Her: What???
Him: nothing, how are you?
Her: please i don’t have time just talk i
want to go somewhere else
Him: Sorry, i just wanted to ask you where
can i find beautiful girls