Girl : hey babe , send me R500 I wanna do my hair.
Guy : ok bae cool let me send you R2000 instead ,
sharp.
Girl : I received R2000 babe thanks , but don’t forget that
R500 neh

Imagine dating someone who can’t pronounce Alicia Kissed. Instead she says Alicia Kiss Can I accompany her to fetch her school fees or should I just keep quiet?

Marriage is like public toilet.
Those who are outside want to get inside and
those who are inside want to get out.

Stop this thing of asking people to get Married because their age mates are married. Even you, some of your age mates have died but nobody has asked you to die..

Why do ladies suddenly become
left handed after getting engaged?

Happy women’s day to Zodwa’s body…
her face must wait for father’s day

A man bought a lie detector robot that slaps people who lie.
He decided to test it at dinner: …

Dad: Son, where were you today during school hours?

Son: At school
(robot slaps the son and he immediately changes his mind)

Okay, okay, I went to the movies! Dad: Which one?

Son: Harry Potter (robot slaps the son again!)

Okay Alright, I was watching dirty movies.

Dad: What? When I was your age I didn’t even know
what dirty moves are (robot slaps dad)

Mom: Hahahahaha! After all he is your Son!
(robot gives Mom a hot dirty slap)

Married 25 years, I took a look at my wife one day and said, “Honey, 25 years ago, we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10 inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25 year old blonde.
Now, we have a nice house, nice car, big bed and 60 inch plasma screen TV, but I’m sleeping with a 50 year old woman. It seems to me that you are not holding up your side of things.”
My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 25 year old blonde, and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed.

Skebhe’s wife : honey! you boss is here, You better hide

Skebhe : no baby! you hide . I called and told him the reason I didn’t come to work , you are dead

The Perfect Man: – wakes up at 5 am everyday – exercises everyday – makes his own bed – cleans his room – works sincerely – does not touch alcohol – helps in the kitchen – does not indulge in night life – always punctual – prays daily – hits the bed at 9 pm sharp Such a perfect man can only be found in jail.

Teacher: Rainbow
Rainbow : Yes Sir
Teacher: what is 1 minus 1?
Rainbow : I don’t know Sir
Teacher : Okay when I put 1 fatcake in your hands and take it back how many remains?
Rainbow : Oil Sir.

Boy takes girl into bedroom, pulls his pants
down and says ” meet my little brother”,
girl pick up her bag, on her way out she
said,” call me when he’s grown up”…

Tell your girlfriend “I LOVE YOU”. She will say “I LOVE YOU TOO”. Tell her ” I MISS YOU”. She will say “I MISS YOU TOO”. Tell her ” I love you soo much”. She will say “I love you more and more”. Now tell her ” Am sending you $100 on your Mobile money”. If she says am sending you too more, My brother I will leave my country

A quick joke.
I called my boss to tell him that
Me : I’m not coming to work today
Boss : why ?
Me : problems with my eyes.
Boss : what’s wrong.
Me : I don’t SEE myself coming to work

Pastor Matome stood up and announced “today I have good news and bad news bazalwane!… The good news is that,we have enough money in this church to build a new,spacious modern church bazalwane!” Everyone in the church stood up,cheereing,singing and with applause! The pastor went on… “And the bad news is that, the money is still in your pockets!”

Witchcraft is when you see an inbox from your crush on Facebook…
And when you open it, it reads:
“You’re now connected on Messenger