A pregnant lady went to an astrologer.
Astrologer: When u deliver a baby, baby’s father will die.
Lady: Thank god! My husband is safe.

My GF asked me today For my facebook password, . . .
We laughed and laughed and laughed… . .
Now Im single.

When your girlfriend say ” I’m out with my friends” and you ask her which ones? And she says “You don’t know them” 🙁
.
My brother you better be prepared, you might as well start processing the break-up papers. She’s cheating sham

5 ways for a Woman to be
completely happy.
1. Be with a man that makes
you laugh
2. Be with a man that gives you
his time
3. Be with a man that takes
care of you
4. Be with a man that really
loves you
5. Most important, make sure
these four men dont know
each other.

LADIES!!! LADIES!!! LADIES!!!
Wife: Honey, someone is beeping to your
phone
Husband: Who is that, would u check for
me?
Wife: No problem honey
(wife pulls phone from a charger and
checks the one who beeped)
Wife: What!!!!!? Who is this one you
saved…beautiful in your phone!!!?
Husband: Me!!!? There is no such name in
ma phone, let me see…..
Wife: See what, you know her, she is your
girlfriend… You are a cheat!!!
Husband: My sweetest wife, this is not
beautiful, its batteryfull

1. Girls who don’t wear half naked to get
boys attention…
2. Girls who don’t ask too much……
3. Girls who don’t post half naked pics to
get many likes on facebook…..
4. Girls that don’t sleep with every guy……
Do we still have such girls?……………
Yes or No..

The Japanese are obsessed with quality
and safety.
A safety warning notice for female
workers in a Japanese factory reads as
follows:
*If your skirt is long,*
*stay away from the Engines.*
*And If it is short,*
*stay away from the Engineers.*

When you build a house let your wife
decorate the ceiling, she has seen more
ceiling designs than you

In África we dont need Halloween,
.
Some girls make-ups are good enough to
scare us

Are you sad?
Is your boyfriend cheating on you?
Is he hurting you?
.
.
Listen and listen carefully,
It’s non of my business Bcuz you refuse to
date me, nonsense!

Yesterday I was with my Girlfriend in my room..
.
Mmmm this weather though..after some minutes she told me to make her feel like a woman…I quickly collected dirty clothes and give them to her..
Suddenly she left and I hope she’s going to buy soap

Who told people that if you want to see that
microphone is working you must say “one two one two

A real wife sleep on the floor when
her husband bring His side chick home
.
You must respect your man

hate people who use big English words
to make us feel perspicacious

Black people don’t measure salt . We
sprinkle salt until we hear the spirit of our
ancestors whisper to us “It’s enough my
child”.

In America, when two lovers stare at each
other, they kiss. In Africa, you will hear
something like :- “Why are you looking at
me, do you want to give me money? ” Life
is so beautiful in Africa.