Girl : ” bby I think we should start thinking about the future…..
having children”
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Me : “me?…..you?….children?….Are you sure you are ok??”
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(Be careful and wise). One day i was just sitting in my room relaxing, i heard my phone rings, it was unknowing number from outside the country. I answered hello nigga, the (guy) fine nigga. Am Jerry calling from London, i my speaking to Eto’o? I said no because i don’t know anyone called Jerry from London. The (guy) oh, but this is Eto’o phone number? I said yes but Eto’o is also in London living noba 30th titi ohji ohle av street, you can reach him there in London. The (guy) oh, oh, Ohoo, London far. Abeg when he come back home, tell him i called from Lagos with international number okay. Hahaha, mugu maga.
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Knock Knock😀
Who’s there?
Europe😊
Europe Who?
I AM NOT A POO
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Decade = 10 years
Century = 100 years
Millennium = 1,000 years
A girl tells you we will be Together forever = 1month
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Thami was late for class and the teacher asked him were was he was? Thami:mam, i had a dream that i was playing soccer
Teacher :so what?
Thami: we had extra time and penalties
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Smoking reduces your life by 5 minutes
Laughter prolongs your life by 5 minutes
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Conclusion : a laughing smoker never dies.
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Man : “bby the way I love you,
I would even swim through an ocean just for you”
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Woman : “Really honey?”
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Man : “No I’m kidding dear, there are sharks in there”
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Wife : “I wish I was a newspaper so
I could be in your hands everyday”
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Man : “Me 2 I wish you were a newspaper
so I could have a new one everyday”
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Doc to an injured Patient
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Doctor : “how did this happen??
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Man : “My wife kicked me out”
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Doctor : “but it is not worth jumping down from a 2nd floor.
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Man : “doctor, you dont understand……I said she kicked me out literally”
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The Bible says : “He who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery”
And since its winter i say “He who looks at water and soap lustfully has already bathed”
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Did you know???
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A male’s private organ is the lightest thing in the world
and can be lifted by just thinking.
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You’re pregnant and you’re watching TV
with your parents….
Then boom an advertise of a condom
.
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Two mentally disturbed men decided that they have to attend school. So they collected old books and sat under a tree pretending that it was a school . The following day,one got there early and climbed a tree. As the other came and saw his friend on top of the tree he asked:what are you doing up there ? The friend replied : I’m in high school now
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I can’t laugh alone 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂
A man and his wife were in court to have a Divorce.
The problem in contention was ….who should have the possession of the child.??
The man or the woman?
The woman jumped up and said… “My Lord, I am the mother of the child, I brought her into this world, with pain and labour…. alone”.
The judge then turned to the man and gave him the chance to defend himself and the man said ..
“My lord ..I have a question, ….when you insert your ATM card into the ATM machine and the money comes out does the money belong to you or the machine…..”?
😀😀😀😳
��🙄Court adjourned.
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BREAKING NEWS.
Zimbabweans can now smile.
President Emmerson Mnangangwa has approved the bill to start payment for all unemployed Zimbabweans within the age of 18-55 years.
They will be paid an allowance of US$250 monthly starting from monday 14/06/2018. All university allowances of US$2000 has been granted to all university students.
To get such Jokes, sms jokes to 111.
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Stepfather: “what must i bring back for my kids?”😎
Kids: “Bring back our real father”
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