The Uglier the Lecture…
😂😁 The harder the Module..

When you’re in bed with bae and
you so wanna play with her hair…
but it’s on the chair in the dining room

A handsome man went into a hotel and asked to see the boss. When the boss came, the story began.

-The client: is room 39 empty?
-The boss: yes, sir.
-The client: can I book it?
-The boss: of course you can.
-The client: thank you.

Before going to the room, the client asked the boss to provide him with a black knife, a white thread 39 cm and an orange 73g.

The boss agreed though he was surprized at the weird things the client asked to have.

The client went into his room, he didn’t ask for food or anything else.

Unfortunately for the boss, his room was next to room 39.

After midnight, the boss heard strange voices and noise in that client’s room. Voices of wild animals and of utensils and dishes being thrown on the floor.

The boss didn’t sleep that night. He kept thinking and wondering what might be the source of the noise.

In the morning, when the client handed the keys to the boss, the latter asked to see the room first.

He went to the room and found everything alright. Nothing unusual. He even found the thread, the black knife and the orange on the table.

The client paid the bill and gave the bellboys a very good tip and left the hotel smiling.

The boss was in a shock but he didn’t reveal what he heard to the bellboys. In fact, he started to doubt himself.

After one year, the client showed up again. He asked to see the boss again. The boss was in a puzzle.

The client asked the same things: room 39, black knife, white thread 39cm and an orange 79g.

This time, the boss wanted to know the truth by all means possible. He spent a sleepless night, waiting for something to happen. After midnight, the same voices and noises started, this time louder and more indecipherable than the year before.

Again, before leaving, the client paid his bill and left a large tip on the table for the bellboys. The smile didn’t leave his face.

The boss started searching for the meaning of everything the client asked to have. Why did he ask room 39? why the white thread? why the black knife??? In fact, the boss didn’t arrive to any convincing answer to all these questions.

The boss now was eagerly waiting for the month of March, the month in which the client showed up.

To his surprise, on the first day of March, the same client showed up. He asked the same questions. Wanted to book the same room, wanted to have the same things as before.

The boss again heard the same noises, this time more louder than before.

In the morning, when the client was leaving the hotel, the boss apologized politely to the client and asked to know the secret behind the noises in the room.

-”If I tell you the secret, do you promise to never reveal it to anyone else?”
-”I promise I will never let anyone know”.
-”Swear”
-”I swear I won’t reveal your secret”
So finally, the client revealed his secret to the boss.

Unfortunately, the boss was a sincere person. Uptil now he hasn’t revealed his secret to anyone.

When he does, I will let you know..

Race for the Golden boot at Russia2018:
*Cristiano Ronaldo*- 4

Denis Cheryshev- 3
Diego Costa- 3
Lukaku – 2
Kane – 2

Griezmann, and many others- 1

*Lionel Messi,* Anthony Martial, Mario Balotelli, khama Billiat, Asamoah Gyan and myself – 0

I am a lady aged 26, and my husband is 34. I left my husband with the maid and our baby at home. After driving for just about 2km from home, my car engine started to over heat. So I had to return and get the other car. When I got home I found my husband in bed with our maid. I Don’t know what to do. Pliz help me.

Dr. Mapulanga’s reply.

Over heating of the engine after such a short distance can be caused by problems associated with the radiator. You need to check the oil and water levels in your engine before you start your journey. You must also make sure your car is serviced regularly to avoid such problems in future. I hope my answer will help solve your problem.

a frend asked a frend: “Ndoda how do i know if my woman is a virgin?”

frend relpied: “just before you have sex with her, show her yo ‘THING’ and ask her what it is. if she says its a PENIS then she is a virgin, if she says ita aCOCK then u know she has been around for a long time”

the frend followed the frend’s advice ans showed his new galfriend his THING and asked what it was. She rerplied tht it was a PENIS.

“Phew!” the man sighed, “I thot u were going to say its a COCK!”
Galfrend: “Of course not, a COCK is twice bigger”

Nyaa who was an aeroplane cleaner was
cleaning the pilot’s cockpit and saw a book
entitled, “HOW TO FLY AN AEROPLANE FOR
BEGINNERS, VOLUME ONE”.
He opened the first page which said; “To start the engine,
press the red button”.
He did so and the airplane engine started!
He was pleased and opened the next page,
“To set airplane moving, press blue button”
He did so and the plane started moving at an amazing speed!
He wanted to fly, he opened the 3rd page which said;
“To let airplane fly, please press the green button”.
He did so and the plane started flying!!!
He was so happy After 20 minutes of flying, he was satisfied and wanted to land.
He opened to the 4th page.
The 4th page said,
“To learn how to land a plane, please go and BUY Volume TWO” !!!

Girlfriend giving house directions to
her Boyfriend:
“come to the front gate of my
apartment where you dropped me,
look for flat 9A,
you’ll find a lift on your right. Then, hit 9 with ur ELBOW…
And get out of the lift you’ll find my
flat on left.
hit the doorbell with your ELBOW &
I’ll get to open the door for you”

Boy Friend: dear that seems easy but why am I hitting buttons with my
ELBOWS only?

Girl Friend: “OMG!! Are you coming empty handed?

*I’m not saying l hate my ex,l’m only saying that if l find her in the hospital
on life support machine
l will unplug the machine and charge my phone.
I jus hate low batteries*

I tried having sex while listening to Gospel music..
I ended up putting her clothes back on and
i helped her get back with her Ex..

When you’re mad and wanna slam
your bedroom door but it’s a curtain..

WIFE: “Dont take my car today coz i wanna go shopping”
HUBBY: “Honey, u kip reffering to everything in the house as yours, u are supposed to use the word “OUR” in stead of “MY”.
The nextg dayh the wife seems busy looking for something whilst the hubby 9is speaking to her till he says,”Honey u aint listening to me at all right? what are u still looking for?”
the wife replied: “Honey i am looking for our pant and bra”

Rich was very drunk and was struggling to open his door with his key🔑…

His neighbour asked him: “sir, can i help you open the door?”😕

Rich replied and said:
“Don’t worry the house is rotating…
just help me hold the house straight,
i can open the door”

Gone are the days when football was watched by cheering fans…. Nowadays it’s watched by terrified gamblers!!!