You won’t know that you hav Kung Fu Skills,
Until Cockroaches Run All Over ur Body*

Those who cut tissues without following the dotted line, what is your problem?

Hurt her before she hurts you.
I sent her the wrong pin to withdraw money

A man decided to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and feels really great about the result. On his way home he stops at a newsstand and buys a paper. Before leaving he says to the sales clerk, “I hope you don’t mind me asking, but how old do you think I am? ” “About 35,” was the reply. “I’m actually 47,” the man says, feeling really happy. After that he goes into Mc Donalds for lunch, and asks the order taker the same question, to which the reply is, “Oh you look about 29”. “I am actually 47! ” This makes him feel really good. While standing at the bus stop he asks an old woman the same question. She replies, “I am 85 years old and my eyesight is going. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a mans age. If I put my hand down your pants for ten minutes I will be able to tell your exact age. ” As there was no one around, the man thought what the hell and let her slip her hand down his pants. Ten minutes later the old lady says, “OK, it’s done. You are 47. ” Stunned the man says, “That was brilliant! How did you do that? ” The old lady replies, “I was in line behind you at Mc Donalds. “

When you want to leave the library but you can’t,
because the people you found there are still there..!!

I remember the day my ex sent me breakup
messages, and mum asked me what I was
reading? I told her,” tips to cook delicious
food ” then she said why are you crying?
Then I replied,” I’ve reached where they are
cutting onions.

Proof of what can happen if a wife drags her husband along to go shopping.

Dear Mrs. Boshoff,

Our store is considering banning your family from ever shopping with
us, unless your husband stops his antics. Below is a list of offences over
the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras.

MEMO

Re: Complaints

15 Things Mr. D Boshoff has done while his spouse is shopping:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people’s
carts when they weren’t looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to tampons
section.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone,
“Code 3” in housewares….. and watched what happened.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M’s on
lay-by.

6. September 14: Moved a ‘CAUTION – WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.

7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the
shoppers he’d invite them in if they’ll bring pillows from the bedding
department.

8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry
and asks, “Why can’t you people just leave me alone?”

9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror
and picked his nose.

10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department asked the
clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.

11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the
“Mission Impossible” theme.

12. December 6: In the auto department, practised his “Madonna look” using
different size funnels.

13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
yelled “PICK ME!” “PICK ME!”

14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker he assumes
the foetal position and screams “NO! NO! It’s those voices again!!!

And; last, but not least!

15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while;
then yelled, very loudly, “There is no toilet paper in here!”

Abe and Sarah lying in bed. Freezing weather.
Sarah says, “ Abe, oy it’s so cold I’m freezing.”
So Abe gets up and gets an extra blanket from the cupboard.
“ Are you a bit warmer, feigele ? “ he asks.
“ Oy “ she replies. “ I’m still a bit cold.”
So he gets up once more and gets a thick woollen jersey and puts it on her.
“ Now are you warm ?” he says.
Sarah replies, “ You know, Abe. When I was a little girl in bed in winter, my mother would come lie next to me and snuggle up to keep me warm. Oy, a meichel.”
Abe looks at her and says, “ For G-d’s sake, Sarah, it’s one o’clock in the morning.
I’m NOT going to fetch your mother!!”

Wedding Day Confession”
Hubby: My dear, I Slept With Many Pro*titutes!
Wife: l Said it! Your Face Looks Familiar!
Husband Fainted!

On a Serious Note Though…Can The Fat Ones
Not Do The “Fainting” Dance,
We’re Not Ready For Unnecessary Earthquakes🙆

South Africa have 10 months, February to November…
Don’t argue
December is a Lifestyle ..
January is a Trial🙆

Kids Of 2years Can Now Unlock Phones And Play Candy Crush.
At That Age I Was Chewing Sand🙆

If you’re a girl and you think no guy wants
you or nobody wants to be with you.
Am here to tell you that’s true..!

You Are Not Black Enough if You
Never Used 1 Book For 5 Subjects

Slay Queens be like: I don’t own anyone a perfect English
.
Let’s begin to start