Teacher: why aren’t there books in your desk

Me: I didn’t see you coming

Dear Parents👱👲👵👸👰👷👮

I wish you could see us how happy we are when we are in clubs

Kgótso ‘s brother caught a thief who had been stealing his vegetables and decided to drag him to the village square.
Half way to the square, the thief said to the man, “Please, I have forgotten my slippers in the farm, can I go and get them?”
He obliged, “Hurry up! I would be waiting for you here.” He waited endlessly and realised he had been fooled.
He went home and told his elder brother Kgótso what had happenned
Kgótso brutally slapped him and said, “You are extremely dumb! You should have told the thief to wait while you go to get his slippers for him!”

A police officer pulls this guy over for speeding.
As the officer approaches the car, he can see that the guy is very anxious about something.
“Good afternoon Sir. Do you know why I stopped you?”
“Yes, officer… I know I was speeding — but it is a matter of life or death.”
“Oh, really? How’s that?”
“There’s a naked woman waiting for me at home.”
“I don’t see how that is a matter of life or death.”
“If I don’t get home before my wife does, I’m a dead man.”

A Catholic Priest was dying in a hospital and asked the doctor to call a Police Officer & a politician .Within minutes, the two appeared. He asked them to sit on either side of the bed. The priest held their hands n kept quiet. The guys were so touched and at the same time felt very important for being summoned by a priest in his dying moment. Out of anxiety, the politician ask, ‘But why did you call us? ‘ The priest gathered all his strength and said, ‘Jesus died between two thieves…..I want to go the same way!!!!!!!!!!!”

If ever u feel overloaded by your wife issues, go immediately to the nearest Biological Anxiety Relief (BAR) center or place an order for any 1 or more of the following antidotes:
1. Wife Irritation Neutralizing Extract (WINE)
2. Refreshing Unique Medicine (RUM)
3. Bothersome Estrange-wife Elimination Rebooter (BEER)
4. Vaccino Officio Depression-Killing Antigen (VODKA)
5. Wife High Infusion Suspicion Killing Energy Yeast (WHISKEY)

This is issued by the Ministry of Happiness 😀😀

Wife: What are your plans for Easter?
Husband: Same as Jesus..
Wife: What do you mean ??
Husband: I will disappear on Friday and reappear on Monday!
Wife: “That’s AWESOME. if you do that, I’ll also do like Mary.
Husband: what do u mean ?
Wife: I will show up pregnant, yet untouched by my husband.”
: ��� ….!
😂😂😂😂😂😂

*Happy Easter in advance

*Please my people,respect yourselves this holiday. If you don’t know English, just type “Happy Easter”. I don’t want see posts like “He aroused”, “He has arousen”, “He’s riced”, “He roasted from the dead”, “He is rising”. Someone even posted “He has resigned “. The worst are the ones posting “Happy Esther”.*

Dating a church girl is awesome if you cheat and she finds out ,we pray together and blame the devil

Controlling anger is very important.
One guy got so upset with his girlfriend and reported her to his wife.

The worst decision you can ever make in your life as a man is to marry a woman because of her looks..!

If you want to be happy for a short time, GET DRUNK…
If you want to be happy for a long time, FALL IN LOVE…
But if you want to be Happy forever,
Don’t even think of these 2..!