Meeting someone new is very stressful
You’ll have to start pretending like you have sense..!

Hardest part in a relationship is:
“Babe borrow me your phone”..!

Ladies just a quick reminder “Men don’t forgive cheating”..!

Dear sis Dolly,
I’m married for 17 years now. Every time my wife and I
have a misunderstanding she demands transport money
for her 3 brothers who stay in Pretoria to come and
beat me up here in Durban .
After they have beaten me, I must still give them
transport money back to Pretoria.
What can I do please? I’m spending a lot. – Siya.
.
Sis Dolly:
“Dear Siya, I completely sympathize with you. I suggest
you and your wife just move to Pretoria to save costs..

This Thing Of Sleeping With Phone in Hands,
Now I Bought A House Online

The Ability To Control Tears When Food Doesn’t Reach You At A Function/Occasion Is The Highest Level Of Maturity

I gave my neighbors kid R100 to buy a sack of potato for R90 for me, I said he must keep R10 change for helping. This chap came back eating biscuits and gave me R90 change, he says the sack of potatoes is R95

Fake Friends – Never ask for food🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩 🍻🍻🍻..
Real Friends – Are the reason you have NO food!🍶🍶🍶 🍩🍩🍩🍺🍺🍺
Fake Friends – Call your parents mr. / Mrs.👫👫👪
Real Friends – Call your parents Dad / Mom👫👫👫👫
Fake Friends – Never have seen you cry..😞😒😞
Real Friends – Cry with you😭😭😭😭
Fake Friends – Borrow your stuff for a few days, then give it back🎳🎳
Real Friends – Keep your stuff so long, they forget it’s yours!🔨🔨 🔩🔩
Fake Friends – Know a few things about you..🎆
Real Friends – Could write a book about you📝📝📝📝💾
Fake Friends – Would knock on your front door.. 🐢🐢
Real Friends – Walk right in and say
“I’m home!”🐤🐤🐤
Fake Friends – Will help you up when you fall over😑😑😑
Real Friends – Will jump on top of you and shout “dog pile!”😁😁
Fake Friends – Are around for a while..😒😒
Real Friends – Are for life🙌🙌
Fake Friends – Say “like you” in a joking manner😒😒
Real Friends – say “I like you” and they mean it☺☺
Fake Friends – will read this.😒😒
Real Friends- will comment his/her best friend name

Yeses:
When I was Younger :•
I’d put my arms in my shirt 👕 and told people I lost my arms 💪
• Would restart the video game whenever I knew I was going to lose❎🚫
• Had that one pen with four colors, and tried to push all the buttons at once😔
• Waited behind a door 🚪 to scare someone, then leaving because they’re taking too long to come out 🚶 .
• Faked being asleep, so I couldbe carried to bed🏠
• Used to think that the moon🌚followed our car🚗
• Tried to balance the switch between On/ Off💢.
• Watching two drops of rain roll down window 💦 pretending itwas a race 🏁 .
• The only thing i had to takecare of was a school bag 👝 .
• Swallowed a fruit seed I was scared to death that a tree 🎄 was going to grow in my tummy.
• Closed the fridge extremely slowly to see when the lights went off😜👀.
• Walked into a room,. forgot what you needed😕, Walked out,and then remember😮.
If u really went through this can u drop a”HI”

Losing a girlfriend or boyfriend it’s nothing
Imagine loosing free facebook some of us will be offline
for the next 5 years

Fake Friends – Never ask for food🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩 🍻🍻🍻..
Real Friends – Are the reason you have NO food!🍶🍶🍶 🍩🍩🍩🍺🍺🍺
Fake Friends – Call your parents mr. / Mrs.👫👫👪
Real Friends – Call your parents Dad / Mom👫👫👫👫
Fake Friends – Never have seen you cry..😞😒😞
Real Friends – Cry with you😭😭😭😭
Fake Friends – Borrow your stuff for a few days, then give it back🎳🎳
Real Friends – Keep your stuff so long, they forget it’s yours!🔨🔨 🔩🔩
Fake Friends – Know a few things about you..🎆
Real Friends – Could write a book about you📝📝📝📝💾
Fake Friends – Would knock on your front door.. 🐢🐢
Real Friends – Walk right in and say
“I’m home!”🐤🐤🐤
Fake Friends – Will help you up when you fall over😑😑😑
Real Friends – Will jump on top of you and shout “dog pile!”😁😁
Fake Friends – Are around for a while..😒😒
Real Friends – Are for life🙌🙌
Fake Friends – Say “like you” in a joking manner😒😒
Real Friends – say “I like you” and they mean it☺☺
Fake Friends – will read this.😒😒
Real Friends- will comment his/her best friend name

Today, I met my ex and she was kissing her new boyfriend in front of a store, I was watching them and she saw me then she asked me what I was doing there. I told her my wife is pregnant and I am here to buy baby stuffs and I am very very happy. I spoke as if they asked me that.

I proceeded in as she was looking at me, I bought 3 buckets, a baby seat and a baby bed with sponge with soaps then I chattered a taxi and left. She and her boyfriend were looking at me and I felt they envied me sooo much.

Now, my issue is, if you know any woman who has given birth, I am selling buckets, baby seat, soaps and sponge. I am around Boksburg, Commissioner street

Love used to be blind but now
it has received its treatment.
Now it looks at u, ur pocket, ur family &
social status & even ur bank account balance too.

If you think somebody is giving you a fake numbers,
read it back to them incorrectly. See if they’ll correct you.

When i Call My Parents And They Don’t Answer it’s No Big DEAL ✋😓 , But When They Call Me And i Don’t Answer it’s Like WORLD WAR III

Those days, When your uncle visits and gives you money but your mum takes it afterwards and when you protest she shouts
“shut up have you forgotten I almost died because of you in labor”.