Dear Grade 12’s

Keep facebooking after all, It’s your phone, your data and your life. On the other side exam papers are doing push-ups

Teacher: “I killed a person, tell me this sentence in future tense🤔.”
Me:”In future tense, you will go to jail

I was in a 🚕taxi yesterday
when I suddenly realized I
desperately needed to fart. The taxi driver
was playing a very loud music , the music was so loud, so I timed my fart with the
beat of the music, I was releasing
the fart alongside the music so
that nobody would hear the
sound of the fart, although it was
loud too. . When I finished, I
started feeling better, but I
looked around and noticed that
everyone in the taxi
frowned and was staring at me. .
Then I suddenly remembered
that f*ck I was listening to the music
with my Earphones.

Is there a support group for people who wake up on time but lay in bed until they’re late?

Family members who visits you and ends up taking your clothes, shoes, spray, lipstick, powder, e.t.c..😄

They are not your relatives they are your relathieves.

Kiss her in the middle of an argument , women love that.
They think they are in movies

I don’t know who needs to hear this but hey
“that snake you call your best friend texts your BF more than you do”

I created a fake account and started chatting with my wife,
she told me her husband died 5years ago

These things is confusing me, perhaps you can help me out.

Look here especially those who did Theology at school! Enoch was the father of Irad. Irad was the father of Mehujael. Mehujael was the father of Methushael. Methushael was the father of Lamech. And Lamech married two women- Adah and Zillah. Then we have Adam who was 130 years and Seth was 800 years when he died. So if we divide 130+ 800 it gives us 16.1524375+ Methuselah’s years 962×16 which is 24 154. So why these year’s wasn’t!! I think I forgot what I wanted to ask Sorry for wasting your time😏😏

Interviewer : Can you handle pressure
.
Me : Yes 😊👀 I owe my Landlord Six month rent allowance ,and I still don’t care 🤔

12 Rules of Street Football⚽

When We Were Kids…
1. The fat kid was always the goalkeeper⚽🤣
2. The owner of the ball decides who plays.
3. Penalties were🤣 awarded only if injured player curses a lot.
4. The match only ends when everyone is tired😂.
5. No matter how many goals you score, the winner will be determined by the last team to score.😂
6. No referees and linesmen. You could run with the ball even behind the goal post.🤣
7. If you don’t participate in repairing the ball, you will be given a match ban.😂
8. If you’re picked last, you’re a loser.
9. The guy who’s never picked was to fetch the ball from the tree when it got stuck, under the car or in another person’s compound to play in the next game😁.
10. When the owner of the ball gets annoyed, game over!😅
11. You were allowed to change a goalkeeper in case of a penalty.⚽
12. The most skillful player get an automatic selection.True or false?🤣

Hey Guys,😾 • Please Be Informed That Somebody Is Trying To Spread A Dangerous Rumour That I Have Stopped DRINKING Alcohol😿😿 I Therefore Categorically State Here That At No Point Did I Ever Attempt To Stop👷 • In fact, I Have Never Contemplated Or Dreamt About It😿These Are Lies Fabricated By My Enemies Who Want To Tarnish My Good Reputation By Preventing My Family And Friends Like You 🙌From Offering Me Beers During This Coming Festive Period🙆🙆 • I Beg Of You All To Stay Calm And Vigilant While I Investigate This BLACKMAIL🙋🙋I Will Keep You All Updated

Pastor : “Those Who Want to Quit Alcohol
please come forward to the altar”
My Mom : “Go Forward The Pastor Is Calling You”
Me : ” He Said Those Who Want To”

No One Watches Your WhatsApp Statuses Faster
Than The Person You’re ignoring😌

If your birthday🎂 is 9 months after your Dad’s own, just know that your Mom used you as a birthday gift🎁 to him..!

There’s nothing more stressing than Breaking up💔 with short girl🐧.
Every time you see kids you Remember her..!