Ever faked a story so good that
you even forgot that you’re lying ?

On my wedding day, there’ll be a break where y’all go home and eat,
then come back

You loaned your friend R4000 last year June, since then he/she refused to pay which deteriorated the friendship. Yesteday you beg him/her to just pay you R2000 and forget about the rest because you are having financial emergencies.
Your friend then say he/she can only give you R1500 that’s all he/she have. You feel like you have no option but to accept. You give him/her your account details so that he/she can send directly to your bank.
You wake up this morning , check your account there is R15000 in it. You keep staring at the screen it is indeed R15k. You grap your phone you find 50 missed calls from your dear friend and a text begging you to transfer back R13500 he/she only meant to send R1500 and accidentally added 0 .
So what are you going to do?
1. Send back R13500?
2. Take your full R4000.?
3. Keep all?

You know it’s winter when a slender chick says ”
Let me
focus on my studies”

An old granny 🤶 complaining to someone about her health. she says, “I have sugar,water and high pressure in lungs 😢…..
Other person respond, “now all you need is a tea bag to make a cup of tea

When a nigga say “find me a girlfriend” he talking about you😂

Y’all females slow!

Your successful friends have information that can make you successful too,
the problem is who will carry their coolerbox when you become successful.

At my funeral take the Wreath off my coffin and throw it at the crowd,
the one who catches it is next.

To all those Girls I ignored when I was In a relationship I would like to apologise
😭😭😭
I’m sorry the devil was using me!

Stop Complaining about fake friends. You are old now. Go to work, stay at home, eat, watch TV, read a book and sleep.
You will never hear rumours that the fridge and microwave were gossiping about you.

The Moment You Walk With Your Bae And Come Across With Your Type Walking Alone

I don’t know who needs to hear this but
“You’re not the main Chick..!”

Some people gossip too much
They end up telling u what u told them

WONDERFUL DEFINITIONS :
SCHOOL :
A place where Parents pay and children play
LIFE INSURANCE :
A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.
NURSE :
A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.
MARRIAGE :
It’s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman
gains her masters..
TEAR :
The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.
CONFERENCE :
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
FATHER :
A banker provided by nature
CRIMINAL :
A person no different from the rest….
Except that he / she got caught
BOSS :
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early !!!!
POLITICIAN :
One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence thereafter
DOCTOR :
A person who holds your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.
CONFERENCE ROOM
A room in which a lot of people talk a lot of shit; nobody listens, and everybody disagrees aftereards.

Die Sar

I am apply to my job of security guad to you boss in your company of foset. I complete to std… 7 extermination certificate in 1997 during voting that year. My skool Uzumba high school very good. I am 27 years to be born of age and no waif and no childish. My father is left long time ago and my mother is marry in Mateblelend there 10 ears now. So nobody known to help me. My certificate is just sitting home for itself but pass English and fail Shonar and mathematics because of Ndlovu teacher teaching me is jealous of myself. Me wear expenses watch and clothes than ndlovu teacher.

I hear you people want security guards to your company. I tell you am on job experience for 2 ears, me watch Rambo one and two. I can chase a thief. I am red for intefiew with you. Thank you sar. Please, also great your waif.

Yours, in peace:
Nyaa..

A woman wanted to reach her
husband on his mobile phone
but discovered that she was
out of credit; she instructed
her son – to use his own
phone to pass across an
urgent message to daddy who
is at site.
After the son had called, he
got back to mummy to inform
her that it was a lady that
picked up daddy’s phone the
three times he tried reaching
dad on the mobile.
(Women!!)
She waited impatiently for her
husband to return from site,
immediately she sighted him,
she gave him a very hard slap,
while the man was trying to
ask why? She repeated the
slap, people from
neighborhood rushed around
to know the cause of this.
The man asked his son to tell
everybody what the lady said
to him when he called,
son said:
“The number u are trying to
call is not reachable at the
Moment. Please Try Again
Later”.