I swear every time I spell Wednesday there’s a little voice in my head
that says Wed-nes-day

Mara I have never seen a groom or a bride..
Going to the toilet during their wedding day ,
,are they wearing pampers

A couple was found dead yesterday in Rustenburg,😭 it is said the cause of death is sugar diabetic, this sickness is cause because of calling each other my sweetheart💁‍♂️, my chocolate🙄, my honey😕 , my sweetcake🤨, my lovecandy😐 and my lollipop😏, so 2save our lives😊 n partners lets start calling each other by healthy foods😎 , lyk my spinach, my carrot, my cabbage, my veggies vegg, my mopani wormy😍, etc.. Plz send this 2 all ur frnds as a warning😪

I’ve always wondered why women are always slapping their heads….

….but now I remember we used to do the same to old TVs
when they were not getting proper network signal….

There’s always that one☝family member who always views your status
and tell the whole family..!

When you’ve put your friends on speaker and you tell them
you with Your Bae and they ask WHICH ONE??

Some of the relationships are just lessons
don’t take them serious..!

“I miss you”, “I miss you
too”, “I wish I was with you”
national anthem of long
distance relationship..!

If ur wife cheats on you..my brother dont beat her,never sent her packing,dont argue with her… just make a big portrait photo of the guy she cheated with…and put it in ur living room,so that everytime visitors ask who the guy is::: you tell your wife to explain to them

Today’s kids are so spoilt that they don’t know that in our days you could be beaten for any of the following reasons:
1. Crying after being beaten.
2. Not crying after being beaten
3. Crying without being beaten
4. Standing while the elders are seated
5. Sitting while the elders stand
6. Walking around aimlessly where the elders are seated.
7. Replying back to an elder
8. Not replying back to an elder
9. Spending too much time without being beaten.
10. Singing after being admonished
11. Not greeting visitors
12. Eating food prepared for the visitors.
13. Crying to go with the visitors when the visitors are leaving.
14. Refusing to eat.
15. Coming back home after sunset
16. Eating at the neighbour’s home
17. Generally being moody.
18. Generally being too excited.
19. Fighting with your age mate and losing.
20. Fighting with your age mate and winning.
21. Eating too slowly
22. Eating too quickly
23. Eating too much
24. Sleeping while the elders had already woken up
25. Looking at the visitors while they are eating
26.Stumbling and falling when walking…

I know I’m single,
but somebody cheating on me bro I can feel it

Being hurt by someone you love can make you wake up at 2am and
say “Yah neh!” and go back to sleep

Girls cheat more than Niggas😏…
They just don’t get caught because
side niggas don’t talk as much as side chick

Side Chick: Reply Me Or Else I’m Posting Us
Me: Hey Hey Hey, Heello… Yewena Hiii

Marriage is a sweet thing,,,, u come home u find food cooked. U eat the food then after u also eat the person who cooked*😂😂😃😃😃😜😜🔥
If u know you know!!!!

Pathan’s Wife Bought A Beautiful Sweater For Her Husband.

She Sent It To Him By Parcel Along With A Note…

That Said: “The Buttons Of The Sweater Are Removed Since They Were Too Heavy & Added To The Postage. U’ll Find ‘Em In The Right Hand Pocket Of The Sweater“