Ngifuna umuntu owazi ugesi, onesitifiketi, ikhadi lami leValentine engalinikwa ngibuya kwi-conference alisakhali. 
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Haiy bengithi yimi kuphela omubi kanje,
kodwa today ngibone umuntu omubi engathi u actor kwi advert yogogo.
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Yeka i-pride ucele bakushuthise, 
uyeke izithombe zeMobicel ezifiphele engathi iphupho.
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Adakwe UMZALWANE aze abize uJesu ngo Mngani wakhe….babazani bo!!!!!!
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Welcome to eMlazi where ikhadi 
logesi lithi 0.00 kodwa ujeqe nobhontshisi uyabhadla estofini
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Woolworths cleaner : sorry sir this side is still wet
Shoprites cleaner : weee nangoke ujesu ehamba phezu kwamanzi
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It’s Hisense
Not “Hi Sesi”
.
Bantu ba kwaZulu Natal
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When your girlfriend text you ” babie ngihambisa ugirl kubaba wakhe ngobuya monday ekusen……” ngyakuthanda
yezwa and takecare
Shit that sore body you get just from reading this kind of message yrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
You know that she will definitely get tlof tlof
kubaba wengane yakhe
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Awu yazi nje ukuqabulana nomuntu ofake iybuko vele kube ngathi ulunguza ngama window
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Black people “Sifun’ izindlu ay-ay,ay. Sifuni ugwaqo ay-ay,ay.
Ningadakela thina, ngingasho kanjani ukuthi nifuna izindlu maqede nithi ” ay-ay,ay
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Blacks will point at an empty chair and ask ukuthi “kuhlezi bani laphana?”.
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Ladies, you must stop wearing All Star takkies and a long dress. 
.You can’t be “uMakoti & a Pantsula” at the same time.
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Ngendlela omnyama ngayo sengathi wazalwa ukhanulwa
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Aze asisiza lama mask, asisayi hogeli lemi lomo yenu enukayo
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Nami sengiyakwazi ukuhlala esihlalweni somoya kwazisholo intombazane yakwa Nongoma isikwazi ukushaya iVosho
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Ng’yashadelwa njalo ngesont’el’zayo!
Ng’cela ningang’phatheli izipho kepha ning’phathele umuntu eng’zoshada naye.
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