I’m not drunk, the floor just hates me,
the tables and chairs are bullies
and the walls get in my way.

Teacher : “what kind of an institution is marriage?”
–
Ronnie : “it is the one where a man loses his Bachelor’s degree
and a woman gets her Masters”

Wheen u thought u have seen it all then boom a chinese guy with a gold tooth

interviewer: how long dd u work during
ur previous job??
Me: 30 years
interviewer: nd how old are u
Me: 20 years
interviewer: ur are 20 nd u have 30 years
experience, hws dat possible??
Me: overtime.

When you try to remove her panty and she
pretends to be asleep, then she slowly lifts
her waist to help you remove them.That’s
when you know you made it in life…

When short people smoke weed
they don’t get high, they get medium.

Better to date a drunkard than to date a pastor
who is sleeping around with all the church
members.
.
Can I get an Amen.

The Reason why i don’t watch Nigerian Movies no more Was When A Lady Poured Poison Into A Pot Then Tasted It To See If It Was Enough

African Girls That Want To Date Drake, Trey Songs, Justin Bieber etc.
.
Once You Have Him, How Will You Explain The Rope Around Your Waist

Rich Asked a prostitute :” how much?”
~
She replied: ” R100 on the bed, R50 on the couch, and R20 on the floor”
~
Rich gave her R100.
~
She replied: “I see…You’re a man of class”
~
Rich replied:” Class yamasimba, I want five times on the floor”

You can’t expect her to quickly reply your: “How are you???” Whilst another Guy is asking her “What’s your account number?My nigga Stop Joking.

I was so embarrassed last night. My girl asked me baby let’s say you have 10 minutes to be in this world what you will do. With confidence I said “ Give Me a Baby Babes”
Her respond was “ what are you going to do with the rest of 8 minutes.”
Help me guys what does this mean?

Your parents are still alive and together ,But when you are asked “Who is your favourite couple?” You answer “Jay Z and Beyonce”……Hmmmm my sister you need a very hot High five on your face.

Your boyfriend took you out for dinner at his house ………………. Then when you got there he blind fold you and went to take champagne. Then u start touching the table and felt a Turkey (roasted chicken)u take a big peace and eat it …put the bones inside ur purse ….and wiped ur self with Ur T-shirt… When he came back he unblindfold u ….the u see that his whole family members are there …waiting to say surprise..