Remember, there are two words in life
that will open a lot of doors for you.
Push and Pull.
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When you’re good, you’re good,
when you’re awesome you’re me.
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The only reason I am fat is because
a tiny body couldn’t store all this personality.
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I miss your smile but I miss my own even more.
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When I hear myself eating crunchy food,
I wonder if other people can hear it too.
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It’s not what God can do for you
but what you can do for God
Good Morning.
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Some people feel shy taking a taxi
to town because they own cars on
facebook
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Yaz abe mubi umuntu
angafanelwa ama’Earphone
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Got so broke one time that when
my chick came over I stole R80 from her purse
and gave her that same R80 for taxi fare
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Family crisis is when u discover that the father that fathered your father’s mother is not related to your sister’s cousin’s brother…
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Are u getting it?
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Rich having a convo with his crush😉
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Rich: Hi☺
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Her: hi, how was u doing?😮
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Rich: Im fine…😀
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Her: where did u born?😑
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Rich: where did i born? How?😨
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Her: Don’t be stupid😐…where did u borned yourself?😠
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Rich: Come again😯
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Her: which come?😟
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Rich: I mean repeat again😕
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Her: I said where did your borning begin?😠
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Rich: Im confused😐
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Her: Jeez! OK! Born! Born! Your mom’s bottom drop u out u cry “Nywe Nywe Nywe”😢…Place! Where your mom borneth u!😠😠
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Rich is still looking for a safe place where he can faint
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Once an old man spread rumours that his neighbor was a thief. As a result, the young man was arrested.
Days later the young man was proven innocent. After being released he sued the old man for wrongly accusing him.
In the court the old man told the Judge:
“They were just comments, didn’t harm anyone.”
The judge told the old man:
“Write all the things you said about him on a piece of paper. Tear it up on the way home and throw away the pieces. Tmoro, come back to hear the sentence.”
Next day, the judge told the old man:
“Before receiving the sentence, you will have to go out and gather all the pieces of paper that you threw out yesterday.”
The old man said:
“I can’t do that! The wind spread them and I won’t know where to find them.”
The judge then replied:
“The same way, simple comments may destroy the honour of a man to such an extent that one is not able to fix it. If you can’t speak well of someone, rather don’t say anything.”
*”Let’s all be masters of our words rather than being slaves of our words.”
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Q.What wud u do?
,,,U r a man nd hv rented
a 3room house with ur wife.Ur lady friend
needs a place to stay & u decide to offer
her a room in ur house.Aftr a couple of
months u fall 4 her nd u start shagging
her!One day u lie to ur wife that u r going
out myb to a funeral so that u sleep at the
other room with ur lady friend!In the middle
of the nyt ur wife knoks and says ”chomi
can u pls give me a condom”,,,,?
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Today l went to a restaurant, l saw there was a wifi service, so l asked for password, the waitress told me eat first ,so l place my order,After eating l asked again for password and again she told me eat first,feeling frustrate again l order black coffee,after drinking ,again l asked for password,They told me eat first..Then angry l asked the restaurant manager for the password..He replied eat first, before l was about to explode, l finally saw a sign showing wifi password…EAT FIRST
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I’ve been single for too long,
sometimes i put a teddy bear on my bed
and sleep on the floor,
pretending my bae is mad at me..
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I work at a Zoo and today I got the last warning for leaving the Lion’s cage open.
Like really, who can steal a Lion mara?
This boss is so stupid!!!
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