If you’re a single lady and you’re reading this…

Congratulations you now have a boyfriend😉

Hello “Bae”

Do you remember when you & your ex said
you’re going to love each other forever?

*IDIOTS*

No English dictionary has been able to explain the difference btwn the two words “COMPLETE” and “FINISHED”. Some people say there is no difference between ​”COMPLETE” and “FINISHED​”, but there is. When ​you marry​ the right woman you are ​COMPLETE​ and when you ​marry​ the ​wrong woman,​ you are ​FINISHED!​ When your wife ​catches​ you with ​another woman​ you are ​COMPLETELY FINISHED​ and when your ​wife​ likes ​shopping​ so much you are ​FINISHED COMPLETELY!​
Knowledge will kill me

A teacher’s letter to a parent:

“Dear Parent, Jabu your son, doesn’t smell nice in school. Kindly encourage him to take his bath.”

Parent replies:
“Dear Teacher, Jabu is not a rose flower. Don’t smell him, just teach him! Thank you.”

HE GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN
•Between 18 and 20, a woman is like Africa.
-Half discovered, half-wild, naturally beautiful
with fertile deltas.

•Between 21 and 30, a woman is like America.
-Well developed and open to trade, especially for
someone with cash.

•Between 31 and 35, she is
like India.
-Very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own
beauty.

•Between 36 and 40, a woman is like France.
-Gently aging but still a warm and desirable place
to visit.

•Between 41 and 50, she is like Yugoslavia.
-Lost the war, haunted by past mistakes. Massive
reconstruction is now necessary.

•Between 51 and 60, she is like Russia.
-Very wide and borders are un-patrolled. The
frigid climate keeps people away.

•Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Mongolia.
-A glorious and all conquering past but alas, no
future.

•After 70, women become like Zimbabwe.
-Everyone knows where it is but no one wants to
go there.

“Cheating on your wife doesn’t mean that you don’t love her. It’s like hiring a taxi when you have your own car at home. It saves tyres, ensures longer lasting beauty and increases mileage.”*

Please send this to your wife and let me know which hospital to come & visit you !

Follow instructions carefully to crack
the code.
[1] Chali has got a secret that he wants to
tell you, scroll down to number 5
[2] The answer is on number 11
[3] Don’t be angry, look at 15
[4] Calm down don’t be mad look at 13
[5] Kikiki 1st look at number 2
[6] Don’t be that angry look at 12
[7] Just trying to wish u all a FRUITFUL
WEEK!,hope u already having a grt monday!
love y’all bangane and fans…
[8] What I wanted to tell you is… THE
ANSWER IS ON 14
[9] Be patient look at 4
[10] This is the last time I’m going to do
this look at 7
[11] I hope you’re not mad when I say
this look at 6
[12] Sorry look at 8
[13] Don’t get mad look at 10
[14] I don’t know how to say this but
look at 3
[15] You must be really mad at me now
but look at number 9

This policeman vowed that he
must extract at least 50bob from
this driver. After checking all his
particulars and saw that the man
had everything OK. The
policeman looked at the car boot
and saw a he goat that the man
bought for Xmas. “What about
that goat” the policeman asked.
the driver submitted the purchase
receipt. When the policeman
knew not what to ask for again,
he kept quiet for about 10
seconds, then asked, “what of the
birth certificate of the goat”

EFFECTS OF BEING A BACK
BENCHER IN CLASS
A little boy was doing his maths
homework He said to himself,
“Two plus five, the son of a b!tch
is seven. Three plus six, the son of
a b!tch is nine…” His mother
heard what he was saying and
gasped, “What are you doing?”
The ittle boy answered, “I’m
doing my maths homework,
Mom.”
“And this is how your teacher
taught you to do it?” the mother
asked”Yes,” he answered
Infuriated, the mother asked the
teacher the next day,
“What are you teaching my son in
maths?” The teacher replied,
“Right now,we are learning
addition.” The mother asked,
“And are you teaching them to
say two plus two, the Son Of a b!
tch is four?” After the teacher
stopped laughing, she answered
“What I taught them was, two
plus two THE SUM OF WHICH, is
four.”

I have NEVER heard Pastors preaching about
the Maps behind the Bible.
I think they are hiding directions to HEAVEN from us

When my crush says she loves guys who know Mathematics…
i make effort to impress :
.
Me : You’re so vertically beautiful and the horizontality of your face is the square root of my love…mh I love you simultaneously