Being ugly is tough, while looking at the mirror you
end up saying “maybe it’s not me”

guys sorry for not posting for the
past three hours i was helping my brother
searching the for the chocolate
i ate that he bought for his girlfriend

My girlfriend has trust issues
–
Her: where are you?
–
Me: in a taxi
–
Her: give the taxi driver the phone

When you’re having a sweet night chat with bae and all of a sudden she says ”Goodnight”.
my brother you’re a side bae.
It simply means her main boyfriend wants to sleep,
so you have to sleep too.I’m about to die because of my wisdom.

f your girlfriend doesn’t reply,
then she’s probably doing her nails.
or drawing ishiya

GIRLS DON’T CHEAT
Lets respect abo cherry gents

TB Joshua’s wife is a prophetess.
Prophet Engel’s wife is a prophetess.
Prophet Magaya’s wife is a prophetess.
Mukandiwa’s wife is a prophetess…
Hayi kabi but how does it work that
every prophet’s wife automatically
becomes a prophetess,
is the annointing sexually transmitted?

*A Marriage without a “small house” is like a government without an opposition party – (the government will relax).*

Let us not be dictators in our marriages, allow democracy …

A doctor came across a patient he had valued for years and
saw that he was carrying sleeping pills in his hand, so wanted
to warn him: – Mr. Brown, I see sleeping pills you use, sometimes you may need it, but I want to warn you, those pills are very effective and addictive. The patient laughed and said that: – No, doctor. That’s no true. I’ve been using this medicine for 20 years, the pills have never become addictive!

Mom: I love you son..
Son: I disagree a little but I love you too..
Mom: Why son😢?..
Son: Why give birth to me knowing that I’ll die?

Boy: Mom Why Diamond Was Given The Name “Diamond”😀?
Mom: Because Her Mom Loves Diamonds😊
Boy: Ohh😯 then Why You Game This Name I have?😕
Mom: Shut Up Dickson

My mother-in-law visited me and my wife but coincidentally,that day my wife
was feeling for sex and she did not want to whisper to me since i was busy
sharing stories with her mother. My wife tricked me by pretending she has
headache and went straight to the bedroom. After some minutes, I followed her
leaving her mother in the sitting room. I took some time there, but when I came
back I had forgotten to close my zip.
Mother-in-law: How is she feeling now?
Me: She is now feeling better, I have given her paracetamol.
Mother-in-law: OK, close the pharmacy

If she refuses to take you to her parents
Impregnate her.. Then Relax..
Her parents will bring her to you😂😂😂

Thank me later…..

INSPECTOR : Good afternoon sir, may I see your TV licence?
Thami : I don’t have a TV, that means I don’t have a licence.
INSPECTOR : But I saw an aerial on top of your rooftop?
Thami : Inspector please come in.
(Thami opens the fridge and points to the jar of milk)
Thami : Inspector, what is this?
INSPECTOR : How can you ask me such a silly question, it’s a jar of milk.
Thami : Does that mean I have cows in my yard?!
.
.

One word for Thami

Thami was sick😢 & went to the Doctor
.
Doctor: Do you practise for good health?
Thami: Yes, i play football regularly!
Doctor: How long do u play?
Thami: Until my phone mobile battery runs down

I went 2 see a friend from a very rich family. D maid approached Mε̲̣̣̣̥ & asked.
MAID: What would u lyk to have, fruit juice, yoghurt, tea, chocolate, cappuccino , frapuccino or coffee?
ME: Tea pls.
MAID: Ceylon tea, Indian tea, herbal tea, kericho gold tea,bush tea or green tea?
ME: Ceylon tea pls.
MAID: how do u want it, black or white?
ME: White. …
MAID: Milk or fresh cream?
ME: With milk.
MAID: Goat milk or cow milk?
ME: Cow’s milk.
MAID: Freezeland cow or Afrikaner cow?
ME: Uhm, lemme go with d freezeland cow.
MAID: Would u lyk it with sweetner, sugar or honey?
ME: Sugar.
MAID: Bee sugar or cane sugar?
ME: Cane sugar
MAID: White, brown or yellow sugar?
ME: Abeg, forget abt d tea, jst give me a glass of water…
MAID: Mineral, tap or still water?
ME: Mineral water.
MAID: flavored or non flavored?
ME: Entlek get me an empty glass

A King was about to go to war, he locked his wife (the beautiful Queen😍), in the room & gave the keys to his best friend Thami and said: “If I
am not back within 4 days, open the room and she would be yours.”
He sat on his horse & hit the road. Half an hour later he noticed a dust cloud & sound behind him.
He stops & saw his friend Thami riding very fast towards him.
“What’s wrong ?” King asked.
Out of breath, Thami answered: “Hey King You Gave Me the wrong Key…!! ”
.
One word for him