Thami was in jail receives a letter from his wife “Dear Thami, I have decided to plant some lettuce in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them??”. Thami knowing that the prison guard read all mails, replies:, “My wife, whatever you do, do not touch the back garden that is where I hid all the money..”.A week or so later, he receives another letter from his wife “Dear husband, you wouldn’t believe what happened, some men came with shovels to the house and dug up the back garden..” Thami writes back: “My wife,those were my servants I sent to prepare the land for you, now is the best time to plant the lettuce.”
An accident occurred, 11 persons were injured, 14 died. So the Minister of Health promised to offer R50,000 to the injured and R6million to the dead for their funeral. One of the injured got up and laid where the dead were… One of the dead shouted, “Bro, go back to your place, do not bring confusion here, they have counted us already!”
IF I WAS THE FOUNDER OF FACEBOOK
• No Under 15’s.
• No More Than 5 Posts A Day.
• Ugly Chicks Upload their Pics Once A
Month.
• No People Over the Age Of 50.
• I Read Your Inboxes.
• A Chick Who Gets Less than 10 Likes Will
Be
Banned For 3 weeks.
• No Nude Pics.
• No Texting When You In The Toilet
or When You’re Eating.
• You Wear Your Facebook Uniform
Before Logging In.
• Strictly No Dating on facebook.
• After 10 We all Log Out (Closing
Gates).
• You bath Before You Post.
• You Need To Have At Least 20
foreign Friends On Your Facebook.
• You’re Not Allowed To Have More
Than 500 Friends.
• You Need To Make An Affidavit To
Have An Account and A doctor’s Note .
• You can only login after church on
sundays, and if u didn’t go
to church, you can’t login.
• Wash Your Hands Before Signing
In.
• You fart your facebook automatically logs
out
Mom : It seems like you are pregnant
?Daughter : This is our Life Orientation
school project . We were
experimenting how life begins
.
.
Mom :Then tell me , who is he ?
.
Daughter : I don’t know mummy , it
was a group project
.
.
.
Mom fainted
Last year I was working as a security guard at the
Kruger National Park. My boss fired me after
I left the gate wide open.
I mean who can steal a lion?
I went to a restaurant.
It was full; no place to sit…
I took out my mobile,
Placed it to my ear and said loudly- “Bro
come fast, she’s here with someone else…
Six women ran away
1.REAL NAME: Rainbow Hlongwane
2.NICKNAME: chemical
3.SEX: MALE
4.NATIONALITY: South African
5.HOBBIES: collecting teeth from live
crocodiles,
catching bullets with bare hands.
6. MY RECORDS: fought with a lion and broke
its
neck, skinned a crocodile alive, and held
breathe
under water for 2 months, 3 weeks, 6
hours,5
minutes and 45 seconds.
7. GREATEST ACHIEVEMENTS: went to heaven
to
charge my phone and the first man to land
on
sun.
8.SILLIEST THING I’VE DONE: swimming in a
tsunami and driving towards a volcano.
9.EMBARRASSING MOMENT: couldn’t kill 100
lions with one punch but though 99 died
and the
remaining one is now cripple.
10.PROUDEST MOMENT: a cobra died after
biting
me.
11.HARDEST MOMENT: jumped from an
aeroplane and landed safely on a cricket
pitch.
12.SOMETHING ABOUT ME: I don’t like lying.
Conversation between a Teacher and Mbula….
.
Teacher : Assume your in the jungle and a lion is about to attack you,what will you do.?
Mbula : I will stop assuming.
Dear ladies,
The silence u keep when you find money in your husband’s pocket during laundry should be the same silence u should maintain when you find condom in his pocket!
