Boss said to secretary “I want to
have sex with you just once, I’ll be
quick. I’ll pay you R1,000. I’ll
throw the money on the floor
and before you bend down to
pick it, I’ll be done. She calls and
tells her boyfriend. “Its okay but
ask for R2000 and be very quick
to pick the money”. After 4 hours
of waiting,the boyfriend calls his
girlfriend “what happened baby??
then The girl replied..”The
bastard used coins; I’m still
picking the money
Sub Categories
Don’t be a baby… If she mentions that parents won’t
be home, you know she’s not throwing a party but
bring baloons m’rena!.
1. Why count your money infront of the ATM?
Will you return it
if it’s incorrect?
2. It amazes me that people are afraid to talk in
the exam
room when the question clearly said “Discuss”
3. Some girls are looking for tall guys with pink
lips and six packs when their fathers are short,
potbellied with
black protruding lips…..Can’t you be humble like
your mum?
4. If People Can Use “LOL” Without Even
Laughing, Surely
They can Use “I Love You” Without Even Loving
You.
5. You’ve been Engaged since 2010, till today
you’re still
ENGAGED. MY girl, you’re not LORD OF THE
RINGS.. please
return that “key holder”!
6. Why are babies in the womb for 9 months
and aren’t 9
months old when they are born?
7. Stupidity is when u have a Land Rover +
Land Cruiser and
still have a Land Lord, the landlord will surely
not allow you
to PARK your lands on His Land………..Wise
Up!
Hey guys,
Please be informed that somebody is trying to spread a dangerous rumour that I have stopped DRINKING alcohol.
I therefore categorically state here that at no point did I ever attempt to stop. In fact, I have never contemplated or dreamt about it.
These are lies fabricated by my enemies who want to tarnish my good reputation by preventing my family and friends like you from offering me drinks during this festive period.
I beg of you all to stay calm and vigilant while I investigate this BLACKMAIL.
I will keep you all updated
*A man was walking naked in jungle. When the animals saw him, they all ran away*.
*The zebra then asked the lion, “even u, King of the jungle?”*
*The lion replied, “My friend, Keep jokes aside. That’s a strange animal. The Tail is in front*.
A rapist entered a bedroom, tied up the husband and wife, kissed the wife’s ear and went to the bathroom… The husband said to the wife “satisfy him or he will kill us, be strong. I love u” Wife said “he didn’t kiss me, he whispered in my ear dat he is gay, he needs vaseline and I told him it’s in the bathroom. So be strong, I love u too….
China had invented a machine that catches thieves; they took it out to different countries for a test.
In US, in 30 minutes, it caught 20 thieves;
UK, in 30 minutes it caught 500 thieves;
Spain, in 20 minutes it caught 25 thieves;
Swaziland, in 10 minutes it caught 6,000 thieves;
Zimbabwe in 7 minutes it caught 20,000 thieves;
South Africa, in 5 minutes the machine was stolen.
A Teacher (Mr Gumede) was teaching opposite
words and pointed to Tinklas to stand
up and answer some Questions.
Teacher:What is the opposite of
Good?”
Tinklas:Bad
Teacher:Come?
Tinklas:Go
Teacher:Ugly?
Tinklas:Sexy
Teacher:You’re wrong!
Tinklas:You’re Right
Teacher:Shut up!
Tinklas:Keep talking
Teacher:Ok,now stop!
Tinklas:Ok,then carry on
Teacher:Get out of my class!
Tinklas:Come in my class
Teacher:Oh my God!
Tinklas:Oh my devil
Teacher:You have failed!
Tinklas:I have passed..
Did Tinklas Pass or Fail ?
Santa At Railway Station To Other People: “Did Anyone Lose Money Wrapped In A Rubber Band?”
One Said: “Yes I Did”
Santa: “Well, It’s Your Lucky Day, I Found The Rubberband“
I am inviting you my fellow friends and relatives to our
END OF YEAR PARTY
All drinks and food for free
Date :- 23th December, 2017
.
Time: – 17hrs till late..
.
Dress code smart casual.
.
Venue: – 世界上有太多的人在挨饿。
.
Make sure you don’t miss it! Thank you in advance
May Your Xmas be free from Quagmile..Let it be Adoriferous, full of rampant cockistocracy, aggravated by the vitality of perambolity with the plumage of decapitation so that the new year will be congruental in as far as the mototiplity is concerned..
.
I hope English was compulsory at your school…
Good day
*After staging a coup in my house, I went to the sitting room to announce to my kids that my husband was now under bedroom arrest. “Your dad is safe and sound and his security is guaranteed. he remains the father and first in command of this house. However, I am only targeting the FEMALE criminals SURROUNDING HIS BONUS*
Dear Santa,
All I want for Christmas this year is a fat bank account and slim body. Please don’t mix them both like you did last year
Boss: “We Are Very Keen On Cleanliness. Did You Wipe Your Feets On The Mat As You Came In?”
New Employee: “Yes, Sir”
Boss: “We Are Also Keen On Truthfulness. There Is No Mat“
Bank balance: R 00.00
Under the lens balance: R 00.00
Pocket balance: R 00.00
Airtime balance: R 00.00
Data balance: 0MB
In fact, I have a card lock Zero
Sdumo : my wife is pregnant
Skebhe : oh congrats
Sdumo : I’m not a father
Skebhe : oh I’m sure you happy,
you’ll get a free baby.
One word for Skebhe