At my funeral take the Wreath off my coffin and throw it at the crowd,
the one who catches it is next.

To all those Girls I ignored when I was In a relationship I would like to apologise
😭😭😭
I’m sorry the devil was using me!

Stop Complaining about fake friends. You are old now. Go to work, stay at home, eat, watch TV, read a book and sleep.
You will never hear rumours that the fridge and microwave were gossiping about you.

The Moment You Walk With Your Bae And Come Across With Your Type Walking Alone

When a nigga say “find me a girlfriend” he talking about you😂

Y’all females slow!

Your successful friends have information that can make you successful too,
the problem is who will carry their coolerbox when you become successful.

You loaned your friend R4000 last year June, since then he/she refused to pay which deteriorated the friendship. Yesteday you beg him/her to just pay you R2000 and forget about the rest because you are having financial emergencies.
Your friend then say he/she can only give you R1500 that’s all he/she have. You feel like you have no option but to accept. You give him/her your account details so that he/she can send directly to your bank.
You wake up this morning , check your account there is R15000 in it. You keep staring at the screen it is indeed R15k. You grap your phone you find 50 missed calls from your dear friend and a text begging you to transfer back R13500 he/she only meant to send R1500 and accidentally added 0 .
So what are you going to do?
1. Send back R13500?
2. Take your full R4000.?
3. Keep all?

You know it’s winter when a slender chick says ”
Let me
focus on my studies”

An old granny 🤶 complaining to someone about her health. she says, “I have sugar,water and high pressure in lungs 😢…..
Other person respond, “now all you need is a tea bag to make a cup of tea

I Was Embarrassed When My Boyfriend Said Babe Get Ready because
I Want 3 Children, 4kids , 3 Boys , 2 Girls , 5 Sons And 3 Daughters

TO ALL THOSE WHO SAID THEY ARE GOING TO LOSE WEIGHT THIS YEAR
WHERE ARE YOU😅
HEY!!!DON’T SCROLL DOWN I’M TALKING TO YOU

Ever faked a story so good that
you even forgot that you’re lying ?

On my wedding day, there’ll be a break where y’all go home and eat,
then come back

Husband’s Massage:

Honey, I Got Hit By A Car Outside Of The Office. Teena Brought Me To Hospital. They have been making tests and X-rays. The blow to my head though is very strong. Will not have any serious or lasting injury. But, I have three broken ribs, a broken arm , a compound fracture in the left lef and they may have to amputate the right foot.

Wife’s Response :

Who’s Teena ?

Not being born into a rich family was my first financial mistake.
Its been downhill since.