SHE LEFT ME BECAUSE I WAS BROKE,
NOW I USE HER NUMBER FOR BANK NOTIFICATION

Stop Answering Calls at the funeral…
someone Yesterday Said “Im at death”

Nothing says you ugly like Facebook asking
” Are you sure you want to make this your profile picture ?”

Girls express their feelings with TEARS…
Boys express their feelings with BEER…

The reason why I will always mind my business.
So this guy was beating his girlfriend on the road, I intervened, start fighting the guy, the case got to the police and the lady defended her boyfriend,
she said “I should’ve mind my business”.

Treat Me Well And I’ll Move Mountains To Make You Happy ,
Hurt Me And I’ll Drop Those Mountains On Your Head

CHILDHOOD IS LIKE BEING DRUNK ,
EVERYONE REMEMBERS WHAT YOU DID ,
EXCEPT YOU!

U think you are someone’s full chicken only find out you are not even a neck,
you just nails

WHO TO DATE?

1. If you want a romantic poor guy date a VENDA guy

2. If you want true love and someone who will rather have Aids with you than leave you,
date a Ndebele guy from Pretoria, Mams or Pheli

3. If you want a man with a big d*ck like a R25.00 wors n know how to use it then date Shangaan men.

4. If you want a man who does not mind spending money on you get a Tswana man from Rustenburg.

5. If you want your son to be a taxi driver/que marshall then date a Zulu guy.

6. If you want your son/daugter to be a good attorney and a good liar then surely date a Xhosa man.

7. If you want to be in an abusive relatioship dont hesitate the road is simple go to Eldos’ and date Coloured’s.

8. If you want to spend most of the times craving for sex and getting it once in three weeks, date any Mzalwane guy.

9. if you want to have a man with a high sex drive date a ZCC man

10. If you don’t want to run out of chili spices then surely date Indian men from Durban .

11. If you want your son to be stupid and expect the world not to notice it then date a Pedi guy from any place that starts with Ga-. (e.g. Ga-Maja)

12. If you want to spend lots of money in your life and being listed on ITC then date an Afrikaner

13. If you want to stay with the stolen goods date a zimbabwean boy

14. If you want to date the african mafia date Nigerian boy

15. If you want to stay with a man who will leave you the whole weekend and come back when you ask he only says ‘Angati’ .. Go for a Swazi guy

16. If you want a “vat en set” guy for life, date any guy driving golf in Gauteng, preferably Soweto, Alex and Tembisa

17. If you want to be married and stay in the back room at your hubby’s home date Mohlakeng, Carltonville mamelodi,pheli and Kagiso guy..

WHO ARE YOU DATING?
ITS NOT PERSONAL

A woman gets on a bus with her baby.
The driver says “Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!”
The woman moves to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming.
She says to Nyaa, who was next to her in the bus,
“the driver just insulted me.”
Nyaa says “You go up there and give that stupid driver a big slap.
Go on madam, I’ll help you hold your monkey for you”

For it is written He who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery​ “..
Similarly as we enter this cold season…
He who looks at soap and water lustfully has already bathed!

Boss: Where were you born?
Nya: Zimbabwe.
Boss: Which part?
Nya: What ‘which part’? Whole body was born in Zimbabwe.
Nya and his friend were fixing a bomb in a car.
Xolie: What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
Nya: Don’t worry, I have one more.
Nya: What is the name of your car?
Xolie: I forgot the name, but it starts with ‘T’.
Nya: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol.
Nya joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the
computer.
Boss was happy and asked what Nyaa did till evening.
Nyaa: Keyboard letters were not in Alphabetical order, so I made it
alright.
Museum Administrator: That’s a 500-year-old statue you’ve broken.
Nyaa: Thank God! I thought it was a new one.