A Journalist to a Doctor of a Mental Hospital:

journalist: “How do you determine whether to admit a patient or not?”
Doctor: “Well, we first fill a Bathtub with water till the top. Then give a Teaspoon, a Glass & a Bucket to the patient & ask him / her to empty the Bathtub.”
Journalist: “Obviously a Normal Person would use a BUCKET because it’s Bigger!”
Doctor: “No you Stupid, a Normal
Person would Pull the DRAIN PLUG!

Nurse, admit this Idiot in Ward No.8!

Girlfriend:Can I have your pic.
Me:Check my profile pic.
Girlfriend:There’s a car.
Me:Open the car u will see me sitting in the car.

MAN: Marry me?
WOMAN: Do you have a flat?
MAN: No.
WOMAN: Do you have a Camry car?
MAN: No.
WOMAN: How much is your salary?
MAN: No salary, but I…
WOMAN: No but! You have nothing. How can I marry you? Leave please before I open eyes for you!
MAN: But I have one estate, 3 landed properties in GRA, 3 Ferraris, 2 Porsches and 2 G wagons. Why do I still need to buy a Camry? How can I be paid salary when actually I’m the BOSS?
WOMAN: That’s why I told you to leave, cause am coming to your house myself to propose to you.

I wonder who told black parents that boys make girls fail at school..!

Dear Systems Analyst,

My name is nyaa I am desperate for some help! I recently upgraded my program from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that the new program began unexpected Child Processing and also took up a lot of space and valuable resources.

This wasn’t mentioned in the product brochure. In addition Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during systems initialization and then it monitors all other system activities.

Applications such as “Boys’ Night out 2.5” and “soccer 5.3” no longer run, and crashes the system whenever selected. Attempting to operate selected “Saturday pool 6.3” always fails and “Saturday Shopping 7.1” runs instead. I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background whilst attempting to run any of my favorite applications. Be it online or offline.

I am thinking of going back to “Girlfriend 7.0”, but uninstall doesn’t work on this program. Can you please help?
CONCERNED
Selibona Nyaa

…. AND THIS IS WHAT OUR ANALYST SAID:
Dear Mr Nyaa,

This is a very common problem resulting from a basic misunderstanding of the functions of the Wife 1.0 program. Many customers upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 thinking that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITY AND ENTERTAINMENT PROGRAM. Actually, Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM designed by its Creator to run everything on your current platform.

You are unlikely to be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0, as Wife 1.0 was not designed to do this and it is impossible to uninstall, delete or purge the program files from the System once it is installed.

Some people have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but have ended up with even more problems. (See manual under Alimony/Child Support and Solicitors’ Fees).

Having Wife 1.0 installed, I recommend you keep it Installed and deal with the difficulties as best as you can. When any faults or problems occur, whatever you think has caused them, you must run the………
C: APOLOGIZE FORGIVE ME.EXE Program and avoid attempting to use the *Esc-Key for it will freeze the entire system.

It may be necessary to run C: APOLOGIZE FORGIVE ME.EXE a number of times, and eventually hope that the operating system will return to normal.

Wife 1.0, although a very high maintenance programme, can be very rewarding.

To get the most out of it, consider buying additional Software such as “Flowers 2.0” and “Chocolates 5.0” or “HUGS KISSES 600.0” or “TENDERNESS UNDERSTANDING 1000.0″ or even Eating Out Without the Kids 7.2.1” (if Child processing has already started).

DO NOT under any circumstances install “Secretary 2.1” (Short Skirt Version) or “One Nightstand 3.2” (Any Mood Version), as this is not a supported Application for Wife 1.0 and the system will almost certainly CRASH.

BEST WISHES Nyaa!

Yours, Systems Analyst,

Nothing makes short girls happier than seeing someone more shorter them..!

My sister if you don’t want to work hard,
you will fight for a man until you die..!

Most of you don’t have haters.
You just have people telling you the truth that you don’t want to hear!

I would like to apologize on my offensive jokes especially on people with gaps in their mouth..”I’m thory thumtimes I’m fery sthupid”..!

I like to make people laugh😂. If I don’t make you laugh🙄,
remember🚶 I said ‘people’🤷 not animals..!

I’m 100% sure that the person who came up with a quote of: “All Men Are The Same”, is a Chinese🇨🇳 woman who lost her husband in a crowed..!

Ladies This Thing Of Glowing After A Break Up is Not Fair,
Actually it’s Not Allowed😑

How Zulu People Behave in A Restaurant
Zulu: How Much is The Tea ?
Waiter: R15
Zulu : And Sugar?
Waiter: it’s Free
Zulu: Ok Give Me 1 Cup Of Tea And 5kg Of Sugar
Waiter: Fainted

If You Love Someone Set Them Free.
If They Come Back, Set Them On Fire

Guys ,next Monday will be my last day for me on Facebook as I will be travelling to England on Tuesday to study pharmacy and will be there for 3 years. I’ll miss you so much. May God be with you all. Please forward this message to all those who know me. I’ve just copied it as I received it and I don’t even know whose traveling

You are 30 and not yet CEO? What a shame! I became CEO at age 15 when my teacher said “You and your company, leave my class”