Teacher: what do u call a person
who cannot hear anything?
Santa: U can call him anything,
because he cannot hear anything.
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A Man looking at sky asks another Man :
Is that a sun or moon?
Other Man replies :Oye ! No idea…
Im new to this city..
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While visiting Santa’s house, Banta noticed that
he had replaced his usual TV with a smaller model.
Thinking that perhaps the larger set has broken down,
Banta asked why the small one was there.
“Oh,” Santa replied, “I have decided to watch less Tv.”
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Q: Why did the blonde become a big basketball fan?
A: Because every time they stopped the clock,
she thought that she had stopped aging.
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After a big accident, a man was crying :
O God! I have lost my left hand?
Santa: Control yourself my friend.
Don’t cry. See that man.
He has lost his head.
Is he crying?
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After robbing the bank, 1 robber to clerk : Did you see me robbing?
Clerk : Yes I saw u.
Robber killed him and asked to the next clerk : Did u?
Second Clerk : No, but my wife saw u!
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You’re so stupid that you had to call
411 to get the number for 911
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A Japanese Came To India. He Took An Auto To Go To The Airport On The Way A Honda Overtakes
Japanese: “Honda Made In Japan……… Very Fast”
Next A Toyota Overtakes.
Japanese: “Toyota Made In Japan……….Very Fast”
Airport Came He Asked: “How Much?”
Autowala: “Rs. 8000/-”
Japanese: “Why So Expensive?”
Autowala: “Meter Made In India………..Very Fast“
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I Sent A Text To My Wife Last Night: “Hi Babe I’m At The Pub With Some Lads, Please Try And Wash All My Dirty Clothes And Make Sure You Prepare My Favourite Dish Before I Return.”
I Sent Another Text: “Babe I Forgot To Tell You That I Got An Increase In My Salary At The End Of The Month I’m Getting You A New Car”
She Text Back In One Second: “OMG Really?”
I Replied: “No I Just Wanted To Make Sure You Got My First Message.“
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A Bar Opened Opposite A Church!
The Church Prayed Daily Against The Bar Business
Days Later The Bar Was Struck By Lightning & Caught Fire Which Destroyed It.
Bar Owner Sued The Church Authorities For The Cause Of Its Destruction,
As It Was An Action Because Of Their Prayer, The Church Denied All Responsibility!
So, The Judge Commented,
“It’s Difficult To Decide The Case
Because
Here We Have A Bar Owner Who Believes In The Power Of Prayer
&
An Entire Church That Doesn’t Believe In It !”
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Definition Of A Boss: “Boss Is A Person Who Thinks
That Nine Women Together Can
Produce A Baby In One Month”
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A Boy Was Driving A Car.
A Girl On Scooty Overtook Him.
Boy Shouted: “Hey Buffalo”
Girl Turned Back & Shouted: “You Donkey, Idiot, Stupid Monkey”
Suddenly She Had An Accident She Was Hit By A Buffalo Crossing The Road.
Moral: Girls Never Understand What A Boy Wants To Say.
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A Russian While Visiting India Went For An Eye Check Up. The Dr. Shows The Letters On The Board “CZWXNQSTAZKY” & Asked.
Doctor: “Can You Read This?”
Russian: “Read? I Even Know This Guy. He’s My Cousin.”
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“Poor Old fool,” thought the well-dressed gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. So he invited the old man inside for a drink. As they sipped their whiskeys, the gentleman thought he’d humor the old man and asked, “So how many have you caught today?”
The old man replied, “You’re the eighth.”
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A Canadian psychologist is
selling a video that
teaches you how to test your dog’s IQ.
Here’s how it works:
If you spend $12.99 for the video,
your dog
is smarter than you.
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An Economist Beautifully Explained Reasons For Having Two Wives.
1. Monopoly Should Be Broken.
2 Competition Improves The Quality Of Service
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