Once a Lawyer was travelling by train from Liverpool to Manchester.

When the train started, he realized he was traveling alone in the business class. A few minutes later, a beautiful lady came and sat in the opposite seat!

The lady kept smiling at him and eventually she sat next to him …. the lawyer kept bubbling with Joy.

She then leaned towards him and whispered in his ear … “Hand over all your cash, cards and mobile phone to me, else I will shout loudly and tell everybody that you are harassing and misbehaving with me”. The Lawyer stared blankly at her!!

He took out a paper and a pen from his bag and wrote “I am sorry, I can not hear or speak … Please write on this paper whatever you want to say”

The lady wrote everything that she had said earlier and gave it back to him!

The Lawyer took her note, kept it nicely in his pocket … got up and told her in clear tones …
*Now SHOUT & SCREAM!!!*

Moral of the story:

*DOCUMENTATION IS VERY IMPORTANT*

If you don’t know how to get your dealings documented, you better learn this 2018. Once your transaction is documented the Law of evidence vindicates you.

*Even if ur wife has two simcards,*
*Save them as wife, NOT wife1 and wife2*

This message is brought to you by a hospitalized husband.

Guy: Doctor, My girlfriend is pregnant but we always used double protection. Then, how is it possible?

Doctor: Let me tell you a story to make you realize that it is possible.

“There was a Hunter who always carried a Gun wherever he went. One day, he took his Umbrella instead of his
Gun and went out.
A Lion suddenly jumped infront of him. In order to scare the Lion, the hunter used the Umbrella like a Gun and shot the Lion, the Lion collapsed & died.

Guy:This is totally Nonsense. “Someone else must have shot the Lion”

Doctor: Good!!
Next patient please…have a lovely day

SON: “Tell me dad… what is the difference between
“POTENTIAL” and “REALITY”?”
DAD: ‘I will show you’
Dad turns to his wife and asks her:
‘Would you sleep with man for $5 million?’
WIFE: “Yes of course! I would never waste such an
opportunity!”
Then Dad asks his daughter, if she would again sleep with a man
for $ 5 million?
DAUGHTER: “Wow!!!!! Oh… Yes!”
So the father turns back to his SON and
says:
‘You see SON, “POTENTIALLY” we are sitting on $10 million,
but in “REALITY” ??………

Happiness is when you
see your Ex at the back
of a Van ..In a very bumpy
road

when ur ugly don’t play di hard to get..
coz ur already hard to want

You find two people in a relationship and u get between them
.
My sister why are behaving like a G-string? ???

If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhoea in Swaziland,
does it mean that the remaining 1 enjoys it?

Reporter : “may i interview you?”
Ronnie : “yes”
Reporter : “Name?”
Ronnie : “Ronnie White Star Sikhondze”
Reporter : “sex?”
Ronnie : “3 times a day”
Reporter : “No i mean male or female?”
Ronnie : “yes male, female, sometimes a cow”
Reporter : “holy cow?”
Ronnie : “yes cow, sheep, animals in general”
Reporter : “but isn’t that hostile?”
Ronnie : “yes horse style, dog style, any style”
Reporter : “mxm”
*
One word for Ronnie!!

You know u are high on weed when u watch
Generations and u hear Cosmo speaking English

It’s only African people that can go to the butchery,
and buy bones.
.
Then go home, and begin to complain
that the bones doesn’t have meat.

I always hear people saying legends are born in January,
February, March and all the other months of the year😑
.
Please my question is, in which month are
thieves, Gays, Rapists, Ritiualists, Abortionists, e.t.c born?

Set your password to “itsinfrontofthemirror”
Then enjoy watching people stare at themselves for no reason

Set your password to “itsinfrontofthemirror”
Then enjoy watching people stare at themselves for no reason

Your not a real parent if you
don’t take a sip of your child’s juice
when they ask for your help to open it

Tag a tsonga person to show them
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Nothing and run away