Conversation between a Nigerian dad and his son
.
Son:Dad can u borrow me some money, I’m broke
Dad:Where are u son?
Son:South Africa
Dad:Open a church son

My sister I’m warning you,Never date a Guy with two Legs👣
–
He might run🏃 away when you get Pregnant(

If You Select seSotho On The
ATM Your Money Comes Coverd
In Blankets

Calvin’s wife was caught stealing a tin of baked beans at Shoprite.
When she appeared at court, the magistrate started to count the beans and he said, “sixty beans in a tin” that means sixty days in jail.
Calvin then stood up and said, “there are five more tins at home”

I CALL my girl in front of the GATE so now she
is COLLGATE

Our Father Who Art In Facebook, Hallowed Be Thy Feleb!
Thy Lily-Jack Jokes, Thy Will Be Done On Facebook As He Does Them Live.
Give Us This Day, All The Likes We Need And Forgive Us For Being Blind With Free Mode. As We Forgive Those Who Don’t Like And Comment On Our Statuses.
And Lead Us Not Into Unfriending Them, But Deliver Us From Blompots. For Thy Is Their Accounts, Their Money And Phones.
Forever And Ever, AMEN!!!

You’ve A Boyfriend That You’re Always Proud Of, But You’re Always On Free Mode;
What’s His Job Kantsi???

Your girlfriend wants u to meet her family😐
–
When u get there…The elder sister is your ex-girlfriend😯
–
The younger brother is the boy u were fighting with over a girl😤
–
Her dad is the doctor who advice u to stop coming with girls for abortion😩
–
And finally the mother is a sugar mommy who just bought u the car🚗 u are currently using😨
–
What will u do?

Stop pronouncing God as guard…
That’s why ur prayers don’t get answered
they go stra8 to security companies.

Kenny is an engineer that can’t find a job so he opens a
clinic and puts a sign outside ‘GET TREATMENT
FOR R50 – IF NOT CURED YOU GET BACK R200 A
lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn
R150 and goes to the clinic… Lawyer: “I have
lost my sense of taste”
Kenny : “Nurse, bring
medicine from box no.22 and put 3 drops in
patient’s mouth” Lawyer: “Urgh..this is paraffin”
Kenny : “Congrats, your sense of taste is
restored. Give me R50” The annoyed lawyer goes
back after a few days to recover his money…
Lawyer: “I have lost my memory. I cannot
remember anything”
Kenny : “Nurse, bring
medicine from box no.22 and put 3 drops in his
mouth” Lawyer (annoyed): “This is paraffin. You
gave this to me last time for restoring my taste”
Kenny : “Congrats. You got your memory
back. Give me R50” The fuming lawyer pays him,
and then comes back a week later determined to
get back R200.
Lawyer: “My eye sight has become
very weak”
Kenny: “Well, I don’t have any
medicine for that, so take this R200” Lawyer
(staring at the note): “But this is R50, not R200”
Kenny : “Congrats, your eyesight is restored.
Give me R50”

Apparently there are disagreements of Zuma’s retirement package. They offered him $800,000 but he refused saying that he wants something with a million in it.
So they said how about half a million? He agreed!!

Most guys will intentionally not put chairs in their rooms so that when a girl visits,she will have no other choice but to sit on the bed.These guys are called *Ministers of Strategic planning and Bedmatic affairs*

I just got fired for being their president

Nyaa gambled with all his university money at the casino before even the end of the first term ,

He calls his father at home. “Dad,” he says, “You won’t believe what modern education is developing into! They actually have a program here in school that will teach our dog, phezukwakhe, how to talk!”

“That’s amazing,” his Dad says. “How do I get Phezukwakhe (the dog) into the program?”

Nyaa smiling said, “Just send him down here with R15 000. “I’ll get him into the course dad.”

So, his father sends the dog and R15000. About two weeks to the end of the first term, Nyaa gambled and ran out of money again

His father called
“So how’s Phezukwakhe doing son?” his father asks.

“Awesome, Dad, he’s talking up a storm,” he says, “but you just won’t believe this, they’ve had such good results they have started to teach the animals how to read!”

“Read!?” says his father, “No kidding! I’ll love Phekwakhe to read too!”

Nyaa smiling said, “That will be no problem dad. Just send R40000, I’ll get him into the class.”

The money promptly arrives. But Nyaa then had a problem. At the end of the year, his father will find out the dog can neither talk nor read.

So he killed the dog. When he arrives home at the end of the year, his father is all excited.

“Where’s Phezukwakhe? I just can’t wait to see him read something and talk!”

“Dad,” Nyaa says, “I have bad news. Yesterday morning, just before we wanted to drive home, Phezukwakhe was in the living room, kicked back in the recliner, reading a Newspaper, like he usually does. Then he turned to me and asked, “So, is your daddy still sleeping around with that woman who lives in town?”

The father exclaimed, “I hope you killed that son of a bitch before he talks to your Mother!

I have a proposal:
In 2018 when its time to kiss the bride at weddings, all men must make a queue to kiss her.
People should learn to share…

When she thought you are romantic by helping her
while cooking kant he is making sure u dnt waste his braaipack

Witchcraft is when yr manhood decide to
erect in a class for no reason and
your teacher comes in and point you
to stand up and clean the board!!!