IN THE TAXI..
DRIVER: IF UR SON IS 2 YEARS OLD THEN U SHOULD PAY FOR HIM.
ME: HE’S ONLY 24 MONTHS OLD.
DRIVER: OKAY..I THOUGHT HE’S 2 YEARS OLD.. SO DON’T PAY FOR HIM, HE IS STILL YOUNG.. VERY YOUNG.
ME: 😇

If She Doesn’t Accept A Bible As A Present This Valentine;
Leave Her, She’s Evil!!!

Rich was a virgin😯 He knew nothing about sex. His parents married a girl for him😩
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On the first night of the marriage, he entered the the bedroom only to see his wife completely naked. He was completely schocked😨😨 because he had never seen a naked woman in his Life😣
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She asked: ” Do u know what I want?”😊☺
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Rich said: “No”😐
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She then laid on the bed and asked again: “Do u know what what I want?”😯
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Rich said: “No!”😟
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She then laid on bed and spread her body on the body and opened her legs wide open and then asked again: “Do U know what I want now…Its must be clear by now?”😉
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Rich started laughing😂😂😂After laughing for about 4 minutes,
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He said: “Yes now i get it!😂 You want to have to the whole bed and sleep alone”

Dad: Who do u like more dad or mom?😐
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Rich: Both😉
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Dad: Ok if i go to UK and your mom goes to America, where will u go?😕
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Rich: America😉
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Dad: That shows u love your mom more😓
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Rich: No it shows I love America more than I love UK😃
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Dad: ok, If i go to America and your mom goes to UK, where will u go?😑
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Rich: UK😁
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Dad: why😠😠😠
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Rich:😂😂 I choose UK because I went to America before😉
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Dad: when???😨
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Rich: During the first question

I remember one time when I was in the supermarket😐
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I saw a kid crying while throwing tantrums just because her mom didn’t buy her favourite chocolate🍫
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Due to my clean heart..I bought the chocolate and ate it in front of the kid

I Dont Care How Much I Spend On You But Remember :
When We Broke Up I Want My Money Back

Every Black Guy Have A Story To Tell About A Girl Lerato, Tebogo, Boitumelo And Mpho.

You Know Or Should I Tell You ?

That Awkward Moment Umlungu Start Talking To You
and Your ENGLISH Is nowhere to be Found.

Public Service Announcement
If the relationship started this year 2018, then it is not eligible for Valentine’s gifts and spoiling……
It’s considered a Late Entry.
Boyfriends Association of Africa.

With all due respect for the
LAWYERS

A lawyer who had a wife and 12 children needed to move because his rental agreement was terminated by the owner who wanted to re-occupy the home.

He was having a lot of difficulty finding a new house.

When he said he had 12 children, no one would rent a home to him because they felt that the children would destroy the place.

He couldn’t say he had no children, because he couldn’t lie…. “WE ALL KNOW”…lawyers cannot and do not lie. (?????)

So he sent his wife for a walk to the cemetery with 11 of their kids.

He took the remaining one with him to see rental homes with the real estate agent.

He loved one of the homes and the price was right — the agent asked: “How many children do you have?

He answered: “Twelve.”

The agent asked “Where are the others?”

The lawyer, with his best courtroom sad look answered “They’re in the cemetery with their mother.”

MORAL: It’s not necessary to lie. One only has to choose the right words… And don’t forget, unfortunately most politicians are lawyers.

Girlfriend : You’ve never smiled at me ever since we started dating, why?
Jonso: You said you want a serious relationship.

wife:Honey please on valentine don’t buy me anything I want you to show me your phone’s password.

The way female bankers explain account opening is so sexy…..
They will be like…..
I will open it for you so you can put something inside okay
Whether big or small just put something.

A baby was born and minutes after he began to speak: I am going to live only 4 days, my Mother will die in 6 days and my Father will die in 15 days. 4 days later the boy died, after 6 days the Mother died. The Father was crazy coz the next one will be him. He sold everything and spent the whole money. 15 days later the neighbour died. Do not rush in solving problems.

I went to a chemist store and asked to talk to a male pharmacist.
The woman I spoke to said she was the only pharmacist and since she and her sister owned the store, there are no male employee.
She asked if she could help me.
I said that I really would have preferred to speak with a male pharmacist. She assured me that she was completely professional and whatever it was that I needed to discuss, I could be confident that she would treat me with a high level of professionalism.
I reluctantly agreed and began by saying, “As a shy man, this is tough for me to discuss, but here it goes. I get erections every day that last more than four hours. This condition causes me a lot of problems and severe embarrassment. I was wondering what you could give me for it.”
The pharmacist said, “Just a minute, I’ll talk to my sister.”
When she returned, she said, “We discussed it at length and this is the absolute best we can prescribe to you:
* 1/3rd ownership in the store.
* a company car
* A furnished house
* a king size bed and
* $15,000 a month as living expenses..” !!
What medication is this mara??

I didn’t say you were a slut….I just implied that you don’t sleep in your own bed too often…