Can I take your picture?? I love to collect pictures of natural disasters.

Friend: I’m so over him!
Me: Cool, let’s go get a soda.
Friend: HE DRANK SODA…

God made every person different, He got tired!
when time he got to China…

Having one Girlfriend is risky
What if she die ?

To every girl who rejected me…..
ii was gonna hurt uu anyway.

Dating a soldier mare its another problem..
Girl : Bae can i come over?
Guy : Negative madam….Maybe tomorrow i repeat maybe tomorrow…!!! Do you copy?
.

You make her breakfast in bed &
she goes with it to the sitting room,
Some people just don’t get It

My sister consider yourself extremely ugly if
you walk pass construction workers and
they continue doing their job!!

Those Girls That Put Their Whole Stomach In Leggings;
Are You Kangaroos??

No Matter How Old You Are, If A Little Kid Hands You
A Toy Phone You Answer It.

“visit my wall” and “add me close”

Which Other Strategy Of Bitchies Do You Know ?

Wife: You are smelling woman’s perfume, where did You get it?
Husband: From the woman I was squeezed with in the taxi.
Wife: What about the lipstick on your mouth?
Husband: Oo that one? I got it from Sandra whom I was congratulating for passing her exam.
Wife: What about the used condoms in your pocket?
Husband: Hey leave me alone don’t ask me silly questions. I want to sleep!!.
Wife: (Crying) This is not fair coz when I use them, I don’t bring them home.
Husband: (Waking up angry). What did u say?
Wife: Leave me alone, I want to sleep!!!”

Boys 😀 🙂 🙂 🙂 😀
don’t You Wish :p
Don’t You Wish Years to Come You Can Go To Work !!!!! Come Back Home Tired Asf ! :p
park Your Car 😀
your Kids Come Running And Screaming “Papa” 😀
enter A Clean House :p Open A Kitchen Door And Smell Dinner :p
Enter A Clean House Find Wifey Wearing Something Sexy Af !!!!
Get A Kiss From Wifey Then “How Was your day Baby” 😀
And Later You Go With Wifey To Bed And Hit Things Up While The Kids Are Sleeping 😀 😀
Speaking Of Real Niggas Goals !!!!!!!!!!! Feel Me !!!!

No matter how full my wardrobe is,
I never seem to find anything to wear.

He was a widower and she a widow.
They had met for a number of years being high school classmates and having attended class reunions in the past without fail.
This 50th anniversary of their class, they had a wonderful evening, their spirits high.The widower throwing admiring glances across the table. The widow smiling coyly back at him.
Finally, he picked up courage to ask her, “Will you marry me?”
After about six seconds of careful consideration, she answered, “Yes…, yes I will!”
The evening ended on a happy note for the widower. But the next morning he was troubled.
Did she say “Yes” or did she say “No?”
He couldn’t remember. Try as he would, he just could not recall. He went over the conversation of the previous evening, but his mind was blank.
He remembered asking the question but for the life of him he could not recall her response. With fear and trepidation he picked up the phone and called her.
First, he explained that he couldn’t remember as well as he used to. Then he reviewed the past evening.
As he gained a little more courage he then inquired of her. “When I asked if you would marry me, did you say “Yes” or did you say “No?”
“Why you silly man, I said ‘Yes. Yes I will.’ And I meant it with all my heart.”
The widower was delighted. He felt his heart skip a beat.
Then she continued, “And I am so glad you called, because I couldn’t remember who asked me!”

Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:

“I’ll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want and I don’t expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I
tell you that I won’t be home for dinner. I’ll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don’t you give me a hard
time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?”
His new bride said, “No, that’s fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o’clock every night . whether you’re here or not.