W A R N I N G
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Please share this important warning with all your circles if you truly care.
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Drinking and driving is extremely dangerous. Last night evening, a friend of mine while drinking and driving, put his arm out of the window to indicate that he was turning right and someone grabbed his beer and ran away

Joke of the day: 😂😂😂😂😂

A woman is having an affair during the day while her husband is at work.

Her nine-year-old son comes home unexpectedly,
sees the illegal lovers and hides in the bedroom cupboard to watch.

Then the woman’s husband unexpectedly comes home.

She hides her lover in the cupboard, not realizing that her little boy is in there already.

The little Boy says:
“Dark in here.”

The Man says:
“Yes, it is.”

Boy:
;I have a soccer ball, do you want to buy it?”

Man:
;No, thanks.”

Boy:
;My dad’s outside, I’ll call him if you don’t buy it!”

Man:
“OK, how much?”

Boy: 😜😜😜
“$1,000.”

A few weeks later it happened again , and the boy and the lover were in the cupboard together again.

Boy:
“Dark in here.”

Man:
;Yes, it is.”

Boy:
“I have soccer boots.”

The Man, remembering the last time, and asks the boy:
“How much?”

The Boy says 😜😜😜
“$5,000.”

The Man says:
“Fine, I will buy them.”

A few days later, the Father says to the boy:
“Grab your ball and boots,
let’s go outside and have a game.”

The Boy says:
“I can’t, I sold them for $ 6,000.”

The Father says:😳😳😳😳😳
“That’s terrible to overcharge your friends like that… $ 6,000 is way more than those two things cost.

I’m going to take you to church and make you confess your “SINS.”

They go to church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.

The Boy says:
“Dark in here.”
😜😜😜😜😜

The Priest says:
“Don’t start that shit again!”
😜💥🎈😜💥🎈😜💥🎈😜💥🎈
THIS IS MY CHURCH, NOT YOUR FATHER’S HOUSE !

Girls Always Win Everything On Earth 😢!

E.G Give Her Her Money “correct”✔

But “Give Him Him Money” Is Wrong

A boy asked a girl in a library, “Do you mind if I sit beside you”?
The girl Answered with a loud angry voice; “I don’t want to spend the night with you!!
Everyone in the library started staring at the boy and he was embarrassed.
After minutes the girl walked quietly to the guy’s table and said to him I study psychology and I know what man is thinking, I guess you felt embarrassed ,right?
The guy responded with a loud voice :$300 for one night That’s too much!! and all the people in the library looked at the girl in shock and the guy whispered in her ears, “I study law and I know how to make someone guilty

So I was in a taxi and there’s a
muscular, weird looking guy in
the back. His phone rang and
he answered, “Sure thing boss,
I’m in a taxi with him and I’ll
shoot him when he gets off
“…
No one got off the taxi, we’re
now at the Taxi driver’s home

The chances of a lady getting a job in
Africa do not depend on her academic
qualifications or working experience……
they depend on size and shape of her
buttocks

Girl:I didn’t catch your name.
Me:I didn’t throw it

A guy was on a bus and his phone rang. It
was his wife calling he wanted to show off
so he decided to put his phone on
loudspeaker and answered..Him: Hi
sweetheart miss me already baby?.Wife:
Your Shitt! Miss who?
You ate the baby’s youghurt and ran away
you pig

Rainbow came back home & found his wife
crying
Rainbow:What’s wrong dear?
Wife:Your son called me a bitch
Rainbow:Mxm I’m gonna kill that son of a
bitch

I told my dad that I won scholarship to study medicine in Spain he was so happy that he ordered MY MUM to slaughter two chicken’sfor celebration we popped champagne now am thinking of how to tell him it is April fool after eating the chickens
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please advice me

Weekend l attended a birthday party- with a gathering of abt 30 people!! I sat on the front row seat….then a lady started sharing food. She started from the back and unfortunately, it didn’t reach us at the front. When her friends started sharing drinks, they started from the front but unfortunately I had already changed my seat to the back….!!! Again the drink didn’t reach me. I was so furious and I stood up to take my leave but then I saw three ladies each with a big bowl. This time, I tried to be wise by sitting at the middle. . To my uttermost surprise, one of the ladies started sharing from the front…and the second lady started distributing from the back. It was turkey meat…. When it got to the middle where I was seated it got finished again. Feeling so frustrated, I bent my head, not looking at any face…but then the third lady tapped me and stretched her bowl that I should pick somethng frm inside.. I stretched my hand… Guess what was in the bowl..?
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Toothpicks!!!

A Zulu man went to an electronic
shop.
He asked the shopkeeper; What is the
price of this television?
The shopkeeper replied; We don’t sell
our products to the Zulu people .
Zulu man again came the next day after
cutting his beard.
He asked; What is the price of this
television?
The shopkeeper replied; We don’t sell
our products to the Zulu people.
The next day Zulu man came with a
different face and asked; What is the
price of this television?
The shopkeeper replied; We don’t sell
our products to the Zulu people
Zulu man got irritated and asked the
shopkeeper; How do you recognise
me everytime?
The shopkeeper replied; Because this
is not a television. It is a microwave
oven.
One word for Zulu man

I drops my girl at home & just puts hand on the wall by the gate for support, leans
towards her;
Me: Can I kiss you?
Her: Not now, I’m at home.
Me: Please.
Her: No
Me: You were too sweet in bed today.
Her: Waoh! you too, full of energy. I could not believe we had foUr rounds.
Me: Let me kiss you good night.
Her: Someone may be watching,they still think I’m a virgin at home.This goes on
for ten minutes,
– then her brother appears at the gate and says “Dad says whether you kiss
him or not its your decision,but tell that bastard to remove his hand from the intercom button because everyone at home is listening to your conversation

Walking With A beautiful Girl On The Street And
No One Sees You its Stressful !
But When You Walk With Ugly Ones
You’ll Meet All Your Buddies

Yesterday my pressing iron stopped working so I went to my neighbour’s house and asked to borrow Thiers. They told me to come and use it in their house and I did.
Today my neighbour came and asked if I could borrow them the broom, so I asked them to come and use it in my house…
Tit for tat!!!!!!

There was a man who used to cross the border,from S A to Zim. Every month he would be on a bicycle carrying some riversand. The customs officer searched him thoughroughly and would find nothing in the sand. They would then give him a smile and let him pass. He did that for years and years still the officers wondered what was in the sand. After the man had stopped crossing the border he met one of the retired customs officer,and he asked tell me what were you up to carrying all that sand? The man smiled and said apparently I was smuggling bicycles!