Nyaa was in love wit a cert girl bt neva had the
guts to tell her. One night around 11pm he gatherd
some courage and sent her a text saying, ‘I love
u, I wanna date u. Pls reply and tell me how u
feel’.
A few secs later he recieved a meseg alert on
his fon. He was so scared & tensed to open it
dat night so he decided not to check and reply until the
next morning when he’s less tensed. When he woke
up the nxt day he prayed seriously abt d msg for
gudnews, did his morning chores, brushd his
teeth…ate his brkfast, had his bath, dressed up
then climbed into bed n picked his fon to read d
msg.
This was d response he read:
“Dear customer you hav insufficient balance to
send dis msg. Please recharge your
account and try again.”

man escapes from a prison where he’s been locked up for 15 years.
He breaks into Skebhe’s house to look for money and guns.
Inside, he finds a Skebhe and his wife in bed.
.
He orders the Skebhe out of bed and ties him to a chair.
While tying Skebhe’s wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
.
While he’s in there, Skebhe whispers over to his wife:
“Listen, this guy is an escaped convict.
Look at his clothes!
He’s probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn’t seen a woman in years.
I saw how he kissed your neck.
If he wants sex, don’t resist, don’t complain… do whatever he tells you.
Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you.
This guy is obviously very dangerous.
If he gets angry, he’ll kill us both.
Be strong, honey. I love you!”
.
Skebhe’s wife responds:
“He wasn’t kissing my neck.
He was whispering in my ear.
He told me that he’s gay, thinks you’re cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline.
I told him it was in the bathroom.
Be strong honey. I love you too!..

I have worked hard for my money,
that’s why my girlfriend is jetting off to Brazil to do her hair.

Apart from Castle Lite and Facebook Lite
–
Which other beer do you know??

I just like it when these pretty
boys, become gays. That means
more girls for us.

When your wife keeps her head on your chest and slowly asks
“Dear do have any women in your life other than me”?
Remember your answer is not important at this time
Important is your heartbeat. Keep your heart beat in control
So be careful

Husband and wife went shopping to get new dresses for the wife.

After seeing numerous dresses, she shortlisted around 100 and further brought it down to 25.

Out of these, she asked her husband to choose 5 dresses among them.

Then she finally picked up one dress.

It took 5 hours to finalise one dress.

The husband settled the bill and commented :
“Adam was very lucky because he and Eve used to wear only leaves. He need not have wasted too much of time.”

Ultimate comment of wife :
“Who knows how many trees Adam had to climb and finally choose the leaves as per the wish of Eve. You are lucky u have to just sit in AC shop…”

Moral ::: Never argue with a woman while shopping.

A guy & his wife both made a list of 5 people they’re allowed to sleep with if they ever got the opportunity.

She picked Brad Pitt, Jhonny Depp, Salman Khan, Ranbir Kapoor and Ranveer Singh.

He just picked her sister, her cousin, her best friend, their nextdoor neighbour and their son’s third grade teacher.

*Men are simple like that….they set achievable goals.*

FINAL EXAM PAPER for *LAW STUDENTS:*

Q. A Woman was driving a *Maruti* car. She mistakenly hit a *BMW* car.

The lady came out from her BMW, insulting the other lady for not being careful, asking her to repair her BMW

The Maruti car Woman called *her husband*, he replied -“I am very busy & please try fix up the Matter by urself”

The BMW lady called her *Boyfriend* and said *Sweetheart someone just hit the Birthday Gift you gave me,* I am so angry, please come over..”

Few minutes later her *Boyfriend arrived.* He is the *Husband* to the lady with the *Maruti* car!!!!

Discuss the possible *legal consequences* for all 3 parties.. (20 Marks)

After completion of my B.Tech from a recognised college I Got a decent job in MNC as a Engineer.

Under tremendous pressure from family to get married, I went to meet a girl under the arranged marriage system of India. After meeting, the girl rejected me upfront because she didn’t like my Job. I was furious and told her ” Just wait and see after 5 years where this job is going to take me. You will be sorry”. Of course, I moved on and got married to another girl a year later.
After 5 years,
I saw the same beautiful lady at a traffic signal with her husband in a brand new Audi. And I was trying to kick start my Activa because the battery start was not working. She looks out of the car and briefly looks at me but without any hint of recognition due to helmet, and moves her eyes away!

At that moment, after driving a two wheeler for over 5 years, first time in my life I realized the value of a helmet.
😂😂😂

So always wear a helmet in your own safety!

Issued in the public interest by a sincere Engineer

A Mother -in -Law decides to test her three Son- in- laws for their good nature.

For this she goes for a walk by a river with the first son in law & jumps in. He saves her. Next morning he finds a Toyota corolla parked outside his house with note: From your Mother In Law.

Next she goes for a walk by the river with the second son in law & jumps in. He too saves her. Next morning he also finds a Toyota Corolla parked outside his house with note : From your Mother In Law.

Next she goes for a walk by a river with the third son in law & jumps in. He just laughs and walks away. Next morning he finds a BMW M5 parked outside his house with note:

from your Father In Law!

Imagine going through your bae’s phone and see.
“sidechick” in the call log and when you call it
BoOom!. . your phone rings..

*When I was small, they told me that if I laugh at people’s conditions, I will be like them in future!*
*All my life, I have been laughing at Obama 50 cents , Tigerwoods , Bill Gates nd Donald Trump but am yet to see any changes in me!*
*Or am I not laughing enough?*

When Bill and Hillary first got married, Bill said, “I am putting a box under our bed. You must promise never to look in it. “In all their 30 years of marriage, Hillary never looked. However, on the afternoon of their 30th anniversary, curiosity got the better of her and she lifted the lid and peeked inside. In the box there were 3 empty beer cans and $1,874.25 in cash. After dinner, Hillary could no longer contain her guilt and she confessed, saying, “I am so sorry. For all these years I kept my promise and never looked in the box under our bed. However, today the temptation was too much and I gave in. But now I need to know why do you keep the empty cans in the box? “Bill thought for a while and said, “I guess that after all these years you deserve to know the truth. Whenever I was unfaithful to you, I put an empty beer can in the box under the bed to remind myself not to do it again. “Hillary was shocked, but said, “I am very disappointed and saddened, but I guess after all those years away from home on the road, temptation does happen and I guess that 3 times is not that bad considering the number of years we’ve been together. “They hugged and made their peace. A little while later, Hillary asked Bill -“So why do you have all that money in the box? “Bill answered, “Well, whenever the box filled up with empty cans… I took them to the recycling center and redeemed them for cash! “