Sitting next to you doing nothing means
absolutely everything to me.

Smile! It’s the second best thing you can do with your mouth.
But I like the first one .

Wanna impress real men ??
Go to school …your curves mean nothing to us

Fat girls be like ” I HATE PIC FRAMES 😡”
but we all know you don’t fit in there dear

Wife: ( calling from the bath room in a very sweet and husky voice)

” Darling, I am in the bath room. ….have applied soap all over. …please come and rub . …properly with your strong hands….

.”Husband; ( reading newspaper…. jumps up with all happiness ….and tells his wife)

“Sweetheart…….I am coming”
(Reaches the bath room …sees his wife standing with a pile of clothes)

Wife: “listen, I have applied soap to the clothes…..now rub each of the clothes properly and wash them and hang them for drying…..I have enough work in the kitchen .” 😳😳

*Moral:*

*Mutual Fund Investments are subject to market risks, please read scheme related documents carefully, before investing.*

*Here is the official letter that all men must send their female partner by the latest June 13, 2018*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Sweetheart;

The FIFA World Cup begins on the 14th of June.

During this period I won’t have a lot of time for you. It’s not that I’m cheating or no longer wish to be with you, but I will have to make ever effort to watch every single match.

I will not be attending any social events such as, weddings, funerals, parties etc. during this period so plz *DO NOT ASK!!!.*

I know you see it as only 22 men chasing a ball but it’s absolutely important that you keep such thoughts to yourself and do not express them during this period….

Here are a few guidelines (I won’t call them rules although you know they are) to ensure a smooth and argument free month:

1. Plz don’t say it’s just a game because it’s not!

2. Plz limit or avoid walking during matches

3. The remote control remains with me all the time

4. You support the team I support. Not the team that has guys you think are cute

5. Kindly place your phone on silent

6. *Never, ever walk in front of the TV while am watching a match!*

7. World Cup is played by countries only so plz don’t ask me which team is Arsenal

8. Finally, highlights are considered as important as the match itself, so yes I must watch the highlights as well!!

Thanks in advance, I look forward to your cooperation and your utter silence.

Sincerely yours,

——————
signature & date

NEVER say all he wanted was sex when all you offered was only sex
Have you ever tried to give him money and he refused it?!

That Moment when you dream, Driving VW_golf7_vrrrphaa.
Then when you wake Up BOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM!
You pushing your SINGLE bed to the KITCHEN

My wife was so sick today that
i had to carry her to the kitchen
so she could make me breakfast.

I’m looking for a single lady here inbox me
for more details I’m selling single beds

Steal your Girlfriend’s phone and text her Best friend
“I’m pregnant”. If she replies “By who”, then your girl is a “HOE”
You will thank me later..

My ex is now a lesbian and she’s threating
to get her revenge by beating me

Stop using people’s iPhones to take pictures
Love your “ZTE and Mobicel

The day you will be ready to have a baby
,pampers will be R850.00
and Baby milk will be R1650.00
so it’s now or never