I regret introducing my mom to Candy Crush.
She didn’t cook last night.

I was dreaming urinating in th the toilet,
as I woke up I found my blankets wet ,
I don’t know who the hell poured water on my bed!!! M so pissed

A little boy was doing maths homework, saying to himself, 2+5 the son of bitch is 7,
3+6 the son of bitch is 9
His mother heard this & asked “what r u doing?”
Boy, “doing my maths’ homework”.
Mom: & this is how ur teacher taught u?

Boy: “Yes”

Infurriated mother called the teacher: R u teaching maths to children by saying 2+2, the son of bitch is 4?

Teachr started laughing & answerd: “what I taught them was, 2+2 THE SUM OF WHICH IS 4…

That irritating moment when u just can’t
seem to locate the longer side of your
blanket during that harsh winter night! You
try pulling your blanket to cover your head,
but your two naughty feet keep on popping
out. Damn you winter!!! What power do you
have to make us suffer!!

It would be unfair to say I didn’t learn
anything from Nelson Mandela
He taught me that it’s okay to forgive ur
enemies but never forgive ur cheating
partner

Dear slender girls!
Stop putting your bra’s on the washing line to dry………
Why???????👇
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Look like sun glasses

God if my future wife is in this page….
please give her a light and a strong signal to see that
im her future hubby and she must inbox me😍😂😂😂😂.

Girls thats your message from future hubby so show up yourself, it might be your lotto

Just saw my crush walk into
another guys room here at res😫..
I really hope they are going to study

Last night🌃 i had a dream kissing my
neighbour’s hot daughter, but this
morning🌇 She looked at me like nothing
happened, some girls though..!!

Black women get away with murder because
hair collected at the crime scene will lead
detectives to some chic in Brazil or India!!!

Women who date broke guys know the importance of eating
before leaving home!!!!

If your name is Lucky just know that you escaped Abortion..

There’s nothing in this world irritating like dating a police officer. 😂 😂 😂
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Sometimes when you wake him/her up. He/she would be like, “Hands up. You have a right to remain silent”

How to turn a girl on:
•°•
1. Lip biting
2. Ass grabbing
3. Having her against the wall
4. Kissing her neck
5. Teasing her
6. Love bites… The list continues
____________________
How to turn a guy on:
•°•
1. Touch us anywhere even our shirts

Father: Dude, why did you break up with her? She was a good woman..!?
•°•
Son: She’s a murderer, she killed a spider in my room. How can I date someone who ruined my chances of becoming spiderman..