Mother: “Nyaa mtanami I have a confession to make.
I should have told you long ago but I didn’t know how
you would take it. I’m sorry I slept with someone that
is not your dad 23 years ago.
And that person is your real father.”
Nyaa: “Mum, what rubbish are you telling me!
How am I to deal with this devastating news?!
You should be hanged for this.”
Mother: “Nyaa, I’m sorry he was my first love and
I could not marry him for reasons I want to keep private.
He is on the phone at the moment and wants to speak
with his son for the first time ever.
Please take the phone and talk to him
Nyaa : “No I am speaking to any one.
I’ll never speak to him. Mr Mdlawuzo is the only father I know
and so will that be.
Mother: “Please don’t be so upset. Just say something to him.”
Nyaa : “Ok, I will give him a piece of my mind!”
Nyaaa: “Helloee
Caller: “Morning Son, I am Bill Gates . I am your real father.”
Nyaa : “Dad! Dad!! Dad!!! Thank God! Ohhhhhhhhhhhh
Thank God!!!!!! Love you so much Dad!!!!!
I’ve always known there was something
special about me”
One word for Nyaa?

The reason my friend got divorced.
On his birthday, his
wife didn’t wish him, his parents
forgot and so did his kids.
He went to work, Even his
colleagues
didn’t wish him….
As he entered his cabin his
secretary
said,” Happy Birthday Boss” he felty
so special, She asked him out to
lunch.
After lunch,she invited him to her
apartment.
They went there,
She said in a sexy voice,”Do you
mind if i go into the bedroom for a minute?”
“OKAY”, he said nervously
She came out 5 min later with a
cake and his Wife, his Parents, his
Kids, his Friends,his inlaws and his
Colleagues…
All Screaming, SURPRISE!
SURPRISE!
And he was waiting on the
sofa……NAKED!

In secondary school, I was very poor in maths. During exams, I’d get between 2% and 8%. The results used to be announced sequentially, that is from the lowest to the highest marks. So I would always be the first or second to be called out.
One day, the maths results were announced and my name wasn’t among the first to be called out. The teacher got to 30%, 40%, 50%, 60% and 70%, still my paper had not been called out. Everyone in the class kept looking at me asking, “Guy what…’s up? How did you pass this exam?”
By the time the teacher got to 80%, I was already grinning in excitement. When he got to 90%, he had only one paper remaining. I then asked myself, could I have scored 90% in maths? I was feeling very anxious and happy now. I thought my dreams have been answered. The whole class was amazed as everyone kept looking at me. It was unbelievable. Finally the teacher looked up and said, “A stupid student here did not write his name on the paper and he scored 0%. If you have not received your paper come and get it now!”

IRONY OF THE LIFE WE LIVE
1: A lawyer wants you in trouble
2: A doctor wants you sick
3: A policeman wants you to be a criminal
4: A teacher wants you born stupid
5: A landlord wants you without a house
6: A prostitute wants you not married
7: A dentist wants you with decayed teeth
8: A mechanics wants your car broken down
9: A coffin maker wants you dead
10: Only a thief wishes you prosperity!!!!!!!!!!
Crazy world we living in

ladies if your boyfriend/husband
is cheating on u…
boil water … Let it boil,boil and boil,boil boil…
While water is still boiling wait 4 him to fall asleep…….
Whn ur very sure dt he is sleeepin….
thn make some tea nd drink
Tea reduces stress
stop crying…!

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A MAN AND A
WOMAN
Man calling his lady on phone
Calling. Calling. Calling. Calling.
Calling. No answer!
Calling. Calling. Calling. Calling. Calling.
Calling.
No answer
Then man says to himself “Maybe she’s
sleeping
or she is in the
bathroom.” A lady calling her man
Calling. Calling. Calling She angrily cut the call
& says to her self
“I knew it! he’s with another girl”
TRUE/FALSE?

A professor of mathematics sent a fax to his wife. It read:

“Dear wife, You must realize that you are 54 years old and I have certain needs which you are no longer able to satisfy. I am otherwise happy with you as a wife, and I sincerely hope you will not be hurt or offended to learn that by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Grand Hotel with my 18-year-old teaching assistant. I’ll be home before midnight. – Your Husband”

When he arrived at the hotel, there was a faxed letter waiting for him that read as follows:

“Dear Husband. You too are 54 years old, and by the time you receive this, I will be at the Breakwater Hotel with the 18-year-old pool boy. Being the brilliant mathematician that you are, you can easily appreciate the fact that 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18. Don’t wait up.”

Still dont understand people….! You will hear him/her saying ‘I’m leaving this satafrika’ while you dont have even taxi money to go to town😂😂😂😂😂😂

You are too ambitious

A man happily updated his status on facebook ‘Thank you God😍😍…..i have just got my salary’ 10 minutes later he was so sad😐😏 and down😪….!
Do you know why…….???
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
His landlord liked his status

Girls with big boobs are more cheerful and friendly but the ones with small boobs are rude and naturally wicked!!!!

Lets not argue on this!!!

Most ladies go to parties with empty big handbags but when they come back………, their handbags are full of food and drinks🍪🍩🍰🍫🍬🍣🍢🍾🍷🍸!!!!

Ladies please let this habbit go with july…..we dont want this from 1 august on-wards😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

I think its loud and clear!!!!
Busy in studio polishing my pics….will upload soon!! Get ready

Nelson Mandela has changed his
profile picture on the South African money

There is nothing in this life that lasts
forever.
.
People change – Friends become enemies
and lovers become strangers.
.
Things go wrong and change – Happiness
becomes sadness and tears, and the sweet
memories become history. Everything
changes…
.
But no matter all that life still goes on… So,
cherish every moment you get in life and
enjoy it to the fullest. Appreciate what you
have before it becomes what you had. Be
happy and use every chance you get

Those Girls Who Used To Have A Notebook
Full Of Song Lyrics. .
How’s Your Music Career Going?

You know you are about to be given a punani
when you hear her say ” Go lock the door first”

Gone are those days

If a woman asks: “How are you?”
Just reply “I’m fine.”
But if you have money, you can add: “And you?”