Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?😐
.
.
It’s a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins

Family WhatsApp groups are boring, lazy and dead. Wait until one mess up and see how everyone will be active in seconds⏰
Even your late Aunty who died 7 years ago will be commenting on her blackberry from her grave

Some Guys will never take a Girl out on a date. All they know is: “When will you come visit me”?? As if they’ve been admitted at the hospital.!!

Having an “Ex” as your friend is like using a sugarcane as a walking stick.
Once you feel thirsty you will eventually chew it my friend.

July Is Colder⛄
Than A Slay Queen’s Attitude Towards A Broke Guy.

If Your Girlfriend is always looking Good but you know perfectly well that you haven’t contributed anything towards that; My Brother you are no different from a Security Man👮 guarding a Bank🏧

If you don’t tell your WOMAN she’s beautiful,
INDIAN men on Facebook will do it for you.

I hate my Old Primary school teacher. One day i
visited him at his home.
*
I Found him outside the house. We had a chat about life,
how I am doing, my career and shit.
*
After that he ordered me to get into the house and polish
his shoes. As I got into the house, I found his 2 sexy
daughters wearing mini skirts
watching TV,
*
I said “Hi ladies, your father ordered me to come have
sex
with you.”
“You are crazy, our father will never will never say that.”
one of them responded.
I said
“He just did, should I ask him to confirm to you girls?”
*
“Yes” they replied.
*
I asked him loudly “Sir. Both of
them??” Teacher, “Yes Son, both of them now please

*Three fastest means of communications:*
1) Telephone
2) Television
3) Tell a Woman.
Still need faster communication ??
Tell her NOT to TELL anyone !!

A man is sent to prison for the first time. At night, the lights in the cell block are turned off, and his cellmate goes over to the bars and yells, “Number twelve!” The whole cell block breaks out laughing. A few minutes later, somebody else in the cell block yells, “Number four!” Again, the whole cell block breaks out laughing.
The new guy asks his cellmate what’s going on. “Well,” says the older prisoner, “we’ve all been in this here prison for so long, we all know the same jokes. So we just yell out the number instead of saying the whole joke.”
So the new guy walks up to the bars and yells, “Number twenty-nine!” This time the whole cell block rocks with the loudest laughter, prisoners rolling on the floor laughing hysterically.
When the guffaws die down, the bewildered new guy turns to the older prisoner and asks, “How come you guys were laughing so hard this time?”
“Oh,” says the older man wiping tears from his eyes, “we’d never heard that one before!”

A lawyer meets with the family of a recently deceased millionaire for the reading of the will.
“To my loving wife, Rose, who always stood by me, I leave the house and $2 million,” the attorney reads.
“To my darling daughter, Jessica, who looked after me in sickness and kept the business going, I leave the yacht, the business and $1 million.”
“And finally,” the lawyer concludes, “to my cousin Nyaa, who hated me, argued with me and thought I would never mention him in my will. Well, you were wrong” (Nyaa smiles hysterically)
And the lawyer continued…
“To my cousin Nyaa, who hated me, argued with me and thought I would never mention him in my will. Well, you were wrong,
Hi Nyaa!”

A nurse lost her cat in a hospital..she asked: Any one got a pussy?
All the woman stood up.
No I meant has any one seen a pussy?.All the men stood up.
No No No… she said “I meant has any one seen my pussy”?
All the doctors stood up

Nyaa in class
Teacher: I want you guys to write a story..A composition,”Assume that you were in a war in 300 words”
Students starts to write while Nyaa folds his arms.The teacher approached Nyaa,
Teacher: Why are you not writing?
Nyaa: They killed me….immediately at the beginning of the war.

Thief: who is the son of God? 🔫

Congregation:goes 😐🤐🤐🤐.

Thief: who is the son of God,oh else I’ll shoot all of you?.

Mr Brown: ask the Pastor,he always said I am the child of God.

Pastor: uyanya I don’t know God or Jesus,I never been to heaven

Do you know that Nigeria lifted the world cup trophy this morning, and two minutes later I woke up

Dear Ladies📝
If you could be could be a man for a day😉
What’s the first thing you would do?