GIRL: I want to show you something.
BOY: Okay.
GIRL: Can we go inside the bedroom?
BOY: (excited) sure, we can.
GIRL: Can I switch off the light?
BOY: Go on.
GIRL: Can I close the curtains and
windows?
BOY: (very excited) Fast!
GIRL: Can I lock the door?
BOY: Wow! Yea immediately!
GIRL: I’m done, come closer.
BOY: Here I am (this will be amazing).
GIRL: “I want to show you that my
watch has a light, you can use it to
check the time in darkness.”

Girl: Baby I am wet.
Boy: Want a paper towel?
Girl: No, I want more than that
Boy: Want 2 paper towels?
Girl: No, baby I want sumthing big and round
Boy: Damn you want the whole roll?

Three little kids are arguing in the playground over whose father was the fastest.

(A) The first kid says, my dad is so fast he can shoot an arrow, put his bow on the ground, chase the arrow and catch it before it hits the target.

(B)The second kid says, my dad is so fast, when he goes to bed at night and turns off the light, he is in bed before the room gets dark.

(C) The third kid says that’s nothing…… My dad works for the local council, he is so fast, that when he knocks off work at 3:30 pm he’s at home by 3pm.”

Who is the fastest?

A soldier ran up to a nun out of breath he asked:” May l hide under your skirt”? I’ll explain later.
The nun agreed. A moment later two military police ran up and asked, “Sister, Have you seen a soldier? ”
The nun replied:”He went that way”
After the military police ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said,”I can’t thank you enough sister. You see l don’t want to go to war to Iraq.
The nun replied:”I understand completely.”
The soldier added:”I hope I’m not rude, you have a great pair of legs”
The nun replied:”If you had looked little higher, you would have seen a great pair of balls! !!
I don’t want to go to Iraq either! !!

“A handsome man went into a hotel and asked to see the boss. When the boss came, the story began.
-The client: is room 39 empty?
-The boss: yes, sir.
-The client: can I book it?
-The boss: of course you can.
-The client: thank you.
Before going to the room, the client asked the boss to provide him with a black knife, a white thread 39 cm and an orange 73g.
The boss agreed though he was surprized at the weird things the client asked to have.
The client went into his room, he didn’t ask for food or anything else.
Unfortunately for the boss, his room was next to room 39.
After midnight, the boss heard strange voices and noise in that client’s room. Voices of wild animals and of utensils and dishes being thrown on the floor.
The boss didn’t sleep that night. He kept thinking and wondering what might be the source of the noise.
In the morning, when the client handed the keys to the boss, the latter asked to see the room first.
He went to the room and found everything alright. Nothing unusual. He even found the thread, the black knife and the orange on the table.
The client paid the bill and gave the bellboys a very good tip and left the hotel smiling.
The boss was in a shock but he didn’t reveal what he heard to the bellboys. In fact, he started to doubt himself.
After one year, the client showed up again. He asked to see the boss again. The boss was in a puzzle.
The client asked the same things: room 39, black knife, white thread 39cm and an orange 79g.
This time, the boss wanted to know the truth by all means possible. He spent a sleepless night, waiting for something to happen. After midnight, the same voices and noises started, this time louder and more indecipherable than the year before.
Again, before leaving, the client paid his bill and left a large tip on the table for the bellboys. The smile didn’t leave his face.
The boss started searching for the meaning of everything the client asked to have. Why did he ask room 39? why the white thread? why the black knife??? In fact, the boss didn’t arrive to any convincing answer to all these questions.
The boss now was eagerly waiting for the month of March, the month in which the client showed up.
To his surprise, on the first day of March, the same client showed up. He asked the same questions. Wanted to book the same room, wanted to have the same things as before.
The boss again heard the same noises, this time more louder than before.
In the morning, when the client was leaving the hotel, the boss apologized politely to the client and asked to know the secret behind the noises in the room.
-”If I tell you the secret, do you promise to never reveal it to anyone else?”
-”I promise I will never let anyone know”.
-”Swear”
-”I swear I won’t reveal your secret”
So finally, the client revealed his secret to the boss.
Unfortunately, the boss was a sincere person. Uptil now he hasn’t revealed his secret to anyone.
When he does, I will let you know… “��

*Girl*_ : _I’m leaving you coz you focus too much on football 😤😤
_*Boy*_ : are you leaving on loan or full transfer ?

TWO BOYS stole a big bag of oranges from neighbor & decided to go to a quit place to share the lot equally. once of them suggested the nearby cemetery as they were jumping over the gate 2 anter the cemetery , two oranges fell out of the big bag but they did’nt bother to pick them since they had enough in the bag few minutes leter , a drunkard on his way from a bar , passed near the cemetery gate & heard a voice saying :” one for me, one 4 u …..one 4 me, one 4 u ……..he immediately sobered up & run as fast as he could to a church nearby, for the priest ……………………… ” father , pls come with me. witness God & satan sharing the dead at the cemetery” they both back run 2 the cemetery gate & the voice continued ;:” one 4 me , one 4 u…….. one for me ,one for u …….. suddenly ,the voice stopped counting & said “WHAT ABOUT THE TWO AT THE GATE ?” you should have seen the marathon that followed wah ! ! ! the priest almost ran past the church gate shouting .” we a not dead yet ooohh ! ! ! !………. now u ‘re laughing………… don’t be selfish , send it to your friends put a smile on someone ‘s face ..

BREAKING NEWS

A 72 seater bus belonging to zupco and a truck Carrying cargo from South Africa today around 11am just 20km before Bulawayo stopped and drivers greeted each other as they used to work together at Zupco buses.
Drivers don’t forget each other on the road.

Thank you for paying attention.

*Trouble* is when the pastor says “Those who want their businesses to grow should come up front.”

Then the owner of the local mortuary stands up!

Whats the point of being a dentist in Cape Town?
Who has teeth there?

Bae visited me last night for a sleepover 😊 so I was on a Sofa next to her watching TV, she was eating and typing on her Phone. I heard my phone ringing in the Kitchen where I was charging it, so I went to check it and the SMS was from her & she wrote “Bring the Salt on your way back” 😭😭😭😠😭 nxa..

I think Snooker is a cool game for men…
It teaches them to focus on many holes using just one stick

After her 4th baby, a girl from limpompo went to see the pastor..
She said “I don’t know why I get pregnant so often, there must be something in the air..?”

“Yes” said the pastor, “your legs..”

I paid R1400 for a single night at Protea Hotel and
you expect me not to urinate on the bed??
Stop playing games with me.

*Gals* are busy complaining that when men have ***x* or *impregnate* them they run away.My question is:-
when u score a *goal* do u remain at the goal post or run *celebrating wildly*😆😆😜😜
😂😂
wisdom will kill me

Ex: Hi bae, I have missed u
Me: Sorry I can’t talk at the graveyard attending a memorial
Ex: OMG sorry, who died
Me: My feelings for u