Santa Went To Interview For FBI Agent.

Interviewer: “Who Killed Abraham Lincoln?”

Santa: “Thanks For Giving The Job Sir,
I Would Immediately Start Investigation.“

Three Friends Were Having A Drink In A Bar. A Conversation About Coincidences Arose.

The 1st Guy Said: “When My Wife Was Pregnant She Read The Novel The 2 Cities And Gave Birth To Twins.”

The 2nd Guy Said: “My Wife Read The 3 Musketeers And Gave Birth To Triplets.”

The 3rd Guy Started Running Heading Home, Friends Asked: “Why?”

He Said In Hurry: “My Wife Is Pregnant And I Left Her Reading Alibaba And The 40 Thieves.“

Come Like A Horse, Sit Like A Thief, And Go Like A King”
.
.
.
.
This Slogan Was Written On A “Toilet Door“

Those girls who slap their boyfriends
when they’re mad.
I need to date one of them,
so I can teach her a lesson.

*I’m selling medicine that causes
Landlords forget their RENT*.
*Inbox me for price*. *
Only serious customers are welcome*

If you want drama in your life, date a guy
who doesn’t drink alcohol

Have you ever eat with swollen heart,
food you bought for a girl who didn’t come?

August weather 1 minute its Hot and
the next its Cold then boom its Windy,,,
No wonder its called Woman’s Month..

My Sister if you’re still with your baby daddy,
you, your mother and your grandmother know what you did

MY CRUSH POSTED THAT SHE LOVES NIGGAS THAT USE CAPITAL LETTERS
SHAME I WONT ENTERTAIN HER NONSENSE

Peter comes very drunk home late at night. He wakes his sleeping wife: “Emily wake up! You know what just happened!?”
–
“No”, she replies sleepily.
–
“I went to the toilet and the light switched on all by itself. And when I went out of there, the light switched off again without me having to do anything. I think I’m getting super powers!”
–
Emily replies groans: “Oh no, Peter! You pig, you just peed into the fridge again!!!”

Peter comes very drunk home late at night. He wakes his sleeping wife: “Emily wake up! You know what just happened!?”
–
“No”, she replies sleepily.
–
“I went to the toilet and the light switched on all by itself. And when I went out of there, the light switched off again without me having to do anything. I think I’m getting super powers!”
–
Emily replies groans: “Oh no, Peter! You pig, you just peed into the fridge again!!!”

Her: Hey sugar
Me: hello teabag
She blocked me😱
I thought we were making tea

Wen l drink alcohol…Evryone says l’m alcoholic.But…
Wen l drink Fanta..No one says l’m fantastic

Dating a Married Man is not the problem until
you see your name saved as engine oil.