DEAR Ex…please stop changing numbers whenever u receive a call from me,
it’s now the seventh time u change ur number don’t u get tired?
Now I have to go bck playing private investigator to find ur new number dammit.

Don’t Be Ashamed Of Your Hustle,
Nobody Will feed you, If You Go Broke

Dear girlfriend,
You can’t just dump me by saying
“it’s over”… I won’t believe you.
I want the following things to
support your decision:
1. 5 full Pages of your reasons.
2. Police affidavit.
3. A 90 minutes voice record of the
reason why you’re dumping me.
4. Your parents ID’s
5. Your parents’ permission.
6. The President’s approval.
7. Relocate to another country.
8. Lastly… You’ll have to perform
rituals Slaughtering two fat cows
Apologizing for hurting my feelings..
Either that… Or we stay
together!.

A woman prepared some vegetables for herself and her husband. When they were about to eat, the following conversation began.
HUSBAND: Where did you get the vegetables from?
WIFE: I bought it from Mr. Mkhize’s garden.
HUSBAND: What?! From that wizard?! How I’m I know that the wizard didn’t poison the vegetables?
WIFE: I have an idea.
She gave some to her dog. After some time, the dog went to play.
WIFE: See? The food isn’t poisoned.
HUSBAND: OK. Let’s eat then.
After eating, their maid came crying.
WIFE: What happened?
MAID: Phumasilwe (the dog) is dead!
HUSBAND: What? The food is poisoned!
HUSBAND: (Feeling sober and guilt filled upon realizing he’s going to die in a couple of minutes) I need to make a confession!
WIFE: What?
HUSBAND: When you aren’t at home, I and your maid use to have *** in my room.
WIFE: (Feeling angry but immediately realizing this is futile) I forgive you.
WIFE: I too have a confession to make. Promise to forgive as I have.
HUSBAND: OK
WIFE: The children aren’t yours. They are for the Garden boy.
Immediately after, the Garden boy came in.
Garden boy: Sir The man who hit the dog with his car is outside. He says he wants to apologize for killing the dog.

Husband having an affair with Sophie.Sophie lived next door.Friday morng husband lied to his wife that he’s going to Durban for seminar.He packs his laptop and bags and tell his wife she won’t find him wen she comes back from work,and slips next door to Sophie’s house.Saturday morng he woke up smiling after a lovely night with Sophie.Wearing Sophie’s gown,he goes to the bathroom to his surprise thru the window he sees another man walking around his house wearing his gown,the one he left at home.He shouts thru the window,”Hey wena! What are u doing in my house?”The man shouts back:Futsek”Who are u?The father of dis house is in Durban”Husband replies,”I will beat u once l return from Durban”.

Gal: Hei dude, do you smoke?
Boy: Yes i do.
Gal: How many packs a day?
Boy; 3 packs.
Girl: Owkey, den how much per pack?
Boy: R10.00 each
Gal: And how long have you been
smoking?
Boy: it abt 15 years
Gal: So 1 pack cost R10.00 and you have
3packs a day which puts your spending
each month at R900. Then in one year, it
would be R10,800. Ryt??
Boy: Ofcos jeas.
Gal: If in 1 year you spend R10,800 not
accounting for inflation, the past 15 years
puts your spending at R162,000 correct?
Boy: Jah correct
Gal: Do you know that if you hadn’t
smoked all along,that money could have
been put in a step-up interest savings
account and after accounting for
compound interest for the past 15 years,
you could have now
bought a Ferrari?
Boy: Yoooh!!!! my dear serious..
Gel: Jah dats fact.
Boi: So wena do you smoke?
Gal: No
Boy: Then where’s your Ferrari???

My brother you are 35 years old, but you keep posting
“when i grow up…” what else do you want to grow? Horns?

If time does not wait for you, don’t worry.
Just remove the battery from the clock and enjoy life….😁😁😁

Lady patient to the Doctor inside his examination room “Doctor can you please call my husband inside, I am not feeling comfortable. ”
Doctor – “Trust me lady, I am a Doctor and I am a Gentleman.
Lady patient – “No that’s not the issue. Your receptionist is alone outside and my husband is neither a doctor nor a gentleman…
He is a Pilot.

If your boyfriend has Alot of female cousins.
Trust me you are also his cousin.

In the bible Moses had over 300 wives and over 100 concubines and lived for more than 150 years, and God loved him.You have 1 woman is it yo mother man has only one mother but many wives .

Newton’s law of love: Love can neither be created nor be destroyed.
Only it can transfer from one girlfriend to another with some loss of money

When next you check your boyfriend’s texts.
Ignore his chats with girls, and check the ones with guys.
That’s where the truth is.
You can thank me later!

*Ladies: If your maid has never asked for a day off
just know her boyfriend is in the same house.*

Where do I send the application to
if I want my dog to be a Police dog?

I miss my primary teacher who used to
force me to sit in between girls I wish I
knew