A Sotho man, a Zulu man and a Venda man were lost in a forest and then captured by cannibals. The king of the cannibals told the prisoners that they could live if they pass a trial. The first step was to go deep into the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruits.
The three men went their separate ways to gather fruits.
The Zulu man came back and said to the king, “I brought 10 apples.” Then the king explained the trial to him, “You have to swallow the fruits without any expression on your face or you will be killed. The first apple went in, but on the second one, he winced out in pain, so he was killed.
The sotho man arrived and showed the king ten berries. When the king explained the trial to him, he thought to himself that this should be easy….1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8 and on the ninth berry, he burst out in laughter and was killed.
The Sotho man and Zulu man met in heaven and the Zulu man asked, “Why did you laugh? You almost got away with the trial.”
The Sotho man replied, “I couldn’t help it, when I saw the Venda man coming with Watermelons!”

Ladies sometimes you
should give your baby
daddy the sassa card
and let him spoil
himself for once in a
year

I hate it when I sing a song and
someone
correct me
.
What if I’m doing a remix?

The Day You Will Be Looking For A Job And Find The HR is Your Ex , is The Day You Will Know Why Mathematics Always Tells Us To Find The Value Of X !!

Do you still remember those awkward days in schools during Exams?
.
1. When a bright student tells the invigilator that question 4 has a problem, but you have already answered it…😳
.
2. When a fellow student asks for a graph paper, but you are finished and did not see anywhere where it was required…😧
.
3. When the invigilator says jump question 6 we will rectify it later, but it was the question you enjoyed most when answering…😟
.
4. When you see people busy using rulers and you are wondering what is going on…😣
.
5. When you hear your friends arguing after the exam whether the answer to question 5 was 35.5% or 36% and your answer was -264

We are black people❤

-We call every toothpaste COLGATE
We don’t care😂

-We call every cooking oil FISH OIL
We are proud😂

-We point at an empty chair and ask “Who’s sitting there ”
We are like that😂

-We call every cold drinks COKE
We don’t care😂

-We steal your belongings and help you look for them
We are just like that😂

-We name our dogs TIGER or Spider
We don’t give a f**k❤

-We promise to stab you with a slap or bare hand
We are sometimes strange😂

-We eat a fruit an expect to be healthy at the same time
We don’t care😂

-When electricity goes we go out and,check if it’s the whole street
We are just like that😂

-We blame atchar for smelling armpits even if we didn’t bath
We are sometimes weird😂

-We use a bar of soap till it looks like a Sim card
We don’t have a problem😂

-We buy something,skip instruction&ask neighbors how it’s used
We don’t care😂

-We withdraw money from an ATM then count it 3x before going
We are cautious😂

-We lock the car then try to open it 2 times before going
We are like that😂

-We pay R500 to a sangoma so we can know who stole R50
We are sometimes weird😂

-We turn off the volume just to smell what’s burning
We are like that😂

-When we go out we turn on the lights just to confuse thieves
We are smart😂

-We share beers and cigarettes but we don’t share opportunities
We are sometimes selfish😒

✊ We are proud to be black and we love ourselves like that ✊

#proudly_black

Share this😂😂😂dont laugh alone

If her name is Blessings,
there’s 90% possibility
she has more than 2 boyfriends and
if you ask her she’ll deny it!!

There are people on your friend list who look at your timeline all the time, but they don’t really like you; so they never comment or like anything you post. But they won’t unfriend you because they are too scared not to know what you are doing.🙊
•°•°•
The level of witchcraft in Africa will kill someone!!

Nobody have the lowest voice than a guy
who is asking a girl for her phone number in a taxi/his..😉👌
•°•°••°•°•
Ladies am I lying??

” I’m Sorry But You’re Not My Type ”
Am i Not Your “Type” ? Or i Just Don’t
Have Money ?
Be Specific Sisi

Dear Future wife
You must know we will be married
forever and never divorce.
The following must be done to
divorce me…
*I want our divorce to take place in a
church we got married at, by the
pastor who’ve blessed our marriage
and all the people who witnessed our
vows. If we were able to invite em to
witness our marriage, I guess they
also have the right to come and
witness our divorce.Should any of the
witnessed die, forget about the
divorce, I won’t go for it.
.
*I want all my money I’ve spent on
our wedding celebration,
catering,food,drinks and rings …it will
be used on our divorcing
celebration,notforgetting the lobola
bride prize with interest of 25%
compounded annually.
.
*Seven goats and two cows must be
slaughtered to cleanse your shame of
disappointing my ancestors with our
divorce…all the goats must be green
in colour. Strictly no any other colour.
.
*Go and fetch all those woman
who’ve been trying their luck on me,
but I refused their proposals coz I
valued our marriage and thought I
wasn’t gonna betray and cheat on
you. Please go talk to em on my
behalf…I want em all.
.
*Your uncles who were negotiating
your lobola bride prize must be there
to renegotiate my refund. If one of the
uncles who was there on negotiations
had passed away or something, forget
about the divorce I want him there
.
*After finishing all of the things above,
I want a sourmoon, take me to a
place where I took you for our
honeymoon, and spent the same
period of time we spent on
honeymoon.better pray that we find
the same people we found there the
time we were there for our
honeymoon, should we find different
people..forget about the divorce

My Roommate’s parents were here today
so before they leave they took out R500
and said we gonna see what to buy
.
So my Roomate doesn’t wanna give me my
R250

iBreak up yama 2000
.
Her: “Lion”
Him: “What is it now bbe?”
Her: “Love is over now”
Him: “Why bbe?”
Her: “Legal wise”
Him: “What r u saying bbe?”
Her: “Don’t talk to me, talk to my lawyer ”
Him: “Are you really breaking up with me
bbe
“?
Her: “Lunch bar”
Him: “What’s that now”
Her: “Obvious”
Him: “Can I see you one last time ”
Her: ” Tseee Tseeere Tseeee”
Him: “What do you mean”
Her: “John Cena”
Him: “What about him?”
Her: “You can’t see me

Meanwhile: 😔😢😥👇
.
– Teacher : Why Your Paper is Blank ?
– Me : Sometimes “Silence” is The Best Answer ..

Some Girls Though , You Ask For Her Pic On Whatsapp …
Then Boom ! , She Sends The Whole Damn Gallery

I remember once when my dad gave me money to pay the electricity bill but instead i bought a scratch ticket for a brand new car. When i got home,i explained to my dad what i did and he beat the crap out of me. But the next day,when my dad woke up and opened the door,outside my house was a brand new car. We all cried especially me,because the car was from the electricity company,they were there to cut off the electricity, my dad beat the crap out of me again