2019 Calendar is Fake 😕😒 ,
i Can’t Even Find 29th February Shame

Sometimes God will bring back your Ex
just to check if you are still stupid

I Knew That One Day We Will Forget About
Distruction Boys

Guys, you’re all invited to our wedding ( me & Mpho )
Date : 02-march-2019
Time : 10h00 am
Venue : Anywhere you see a tent

Are you single guys?
If so, go to Moria and say ” anytime is tea time ” right in front of girls

Can’t stop laughing 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂

I will never lie again.

Today I was coming back from church, in the kombi
there sat a very pretty girl. All the guys in the bus were
staring at her. Some of them passed their destinations
without knowing. As for me, I was very proud of myself because I sat next to her. I did all the signs I could to make her feel my presence
but all in vain. An idea came to my mind. I took my
phone and dialed a fake number as guys always
do to attract girls’ attention.
Me: Hello Sam, I’m calling to tell you that I can’t make it today because I’ve just received a call from our CEO asking me to replace him at
a meeting bcz he is not yet back in tge country. Pls tell my brother to use my Range Rover 2017 to pick my mum from her dentist’. I will be home late. Thanks Sam. I will Sam. Once again, Thanks.
All this while, the girl
was looking at me. I said in my heart that she would fall for me if I spoke to her now ..
Me: Hi baby, y r u looking at me like that? R u surprised?
Girl: Pls pick up your phone battery. It fell when u
were taking your phone out of your pocket…..🙄
I couldn’t raise my head till I got off the kombi

A grade 2 kid was coming from school he entered the taxi and he started singing “if my father was a King my mother will be a Queen and I’ll be a Prince”
The taxi driver silenced the kid but the kid continued “if my father was the President my mother will be the First Lady and I’ll be the First Son”
then with anger the taxi driver asked the kid “what if your father was a robber what will your mother be and what will you be”
and the boy said “if my father was a robber my mother will be a prostitute and I’ll be a taxi driver!!!!!!?

One Day You Will Want To Inbox Me
But I will Be Married
So Please Use This Time Wisely

You don’t realise you need a new underwear
until you’re in a relationship

A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, “My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?”

The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound.

The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.”

The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way.

Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery.

shaolin kung fuThe monks accept him, feed him, even fix his car. That night, he hears the same strange noise that he had heard years earlier.

The next morning, he asks what it is, but the monks reply, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.”

The man says, “All right, all right. I’m *dying* to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?”

The monks reply, “You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk.”

The man sets about his task. Forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, “I have traveled the earth and have found what you have asked for. There are 145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth.”

The monks reply, “Congratulations. You are now a monk. We shall now show you the way to the sound.”

The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, “The sound is right behind that door.”

The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He says, “Real funny. May I have the key?”

The monks give him the key, and he opens the door.

Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone.

The man demands the key to the stone door.

The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby.

He demands another key from the monks, who provide it.

Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire.

So it went until the man had gone through doors of emerald, silver, topaz, and amethyst.

Finally, the monks say, “This is the last key to the last door.”

The man is relieved to no end.

He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is amazed to find the source of that strange sound.

But I can’t tell you what it is because you’re not a monk

She took off her jeans, threw it to me and said: “Make me feel like a woman🍆🍑” and I removed my trouser, threw it to her and said: “Wash them both..!”

I really hate it when 2000 kids uses makeup instead of their baby powder

There’s no way a person can wake up from inside a coffin
and not a single black person runs 🏃🏿🏃🏿away.
These pastor’s think we are fools

If a baby born in the morning is called Monica, Evening – Evelyn, on the floor – Florence.

What do we call a child born in a car?