My friend won a trip to China .
He´s out there now trying to win a trip back home
Guys learn to Read terms and conditions

When I’m drunk I become very alert… Before crossing the road I look left and right for cars and bikes, then look up for Aeroplanes and then look down for bombs, I look back for kidnappers and after that I hold my beer tight and walk zigzag to avoid bullets.

Nigerian Guy: Father Can You Please Send Me Money 😫🙏
– Father: Where Are You? 😕😒
– Nigerian Guy: in South Africa 😟
– Father: Open A Church ⛪ Son

They Will investigate Why You Are Rich ,
But They Will Never investigate Why You Are Poor

When You Drop Your Phone And Your Heart Hits The Ground
Before Your Phone Does

Top 10 Female rejection lines.
.
.
1. I think of you as a brother.
Translation: You give me the creeps.
2. There’s a slight difference in our ages.
Translation: I may as well be dating my dad.
3. I’m not attracted to you in ‘that’ way.
Translation: I don’t want to be seen in
public with a dork like you.
4. My life is too complicated right now.
Translation: I’m busy seeing other guys.
Who are you again?
5. I’ve got a boyfriend.
Translation: I’d rather be with my male cat
and a half gallon of Ben and Jerry’s.
6. I don’t date men where I work.
Translation: I wouldn’t date you if you were
in the same solar system, much less the
same building.
7. It’s not you, it’s me.
Translation: It’s you.
8. I’m concentrating on my career.
Translation: Even something as boring and
unfulfilling as my job
is better than dating you.
9. I’m saved, so my heart belongs to God.
Translation: I’ve sworn off men like you.
10. Let’s be friends.
Translation: I want you to stay around so I
can tell you in
excruciating detail about all the other men I
meet and go out with. I appreciate the male
perspective.
–
–
–
Top 10 Male rejection lines.
.
.
1. I think of you as a sister.
Translation: You’re ugly.
2. There’s a slight difference in our ages.
Translation: You’re ugly.
3. I’m not attracted to you in ‘that’ way.
Translation: You’re ugly.
4. My life is too complicated right now.
Translation: You’re ugly.
5. I’ve got a girlfriend.
Translation: You’re ugly.
6. I don’t date women where I work.
Translation: You’re ugly.
7. It’s not you, it’s me.
Translation: You’re ugly.
8. I’m concentrating on my career.
Translation: You’re ugly.
9. I’m saved, so my heart belongs to God.
Translation: You’re ugly.
10. Let’s be friends.
Translation: You’re totally ugly.

Judge : silent in court 😡😡😡😡you’re making a lot of noise 😡😡😡 the next person who shouts will be thrown outside the courtroom 😡
Wreezy: ( prisoner) hurrray🔊🔊 maweyoweeee hehehehehehe Helele 🔉🔉📢📣
Judge : you’re not going anywhere

Women Stop Acting Like Men , Being A Man is Not Easy 😥😟 ..
Can You Wear 1 Jean For 5 Days ?

To those girls who give their numbers to guys and then ignore their calls or block them .why did you give them your number in the first place?
This is the reason why guys give you babies and ignore you!!!

If you are dark you can still bleach, if you are fat you can still slim down,
but if you are short, i repeat” if you are short!
There is nothing you can do about it.
I’m sorry

Just imagine all the cosmetics companies decided to shutdown,
many girls will remain single I’m sure of that

Posting Jokes On Facebook doesn’t Mean Everything Is Fine..
I also Have Personal Problems Such As Crying When
Am Hungry Nd Refuse To Bath

Men can talk to each other for like a week without
even knowing each others names

If you fighting my girl and you pull her hair I’m jumping in

I paid R3500 for that hair

Sometimes you have to pack your bags💼🎒 ,
go to the airport✈ , take pictures and come back home

Imagine you’re dead,happily and peacefully resting because
you left debts behind and then your pastor decides to wake you up…
yaz we are not safe