If you see me drinking Gordon’s straight from the bottle – no dash, this december, please mind your own business. 💀
I know what I’m doing.
It’s been a rough year.
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I will be naming my daughter pregnant so when a guy meets her.
Guy: Hi, am Stanley
Her: Hi, am pregnant. 😂 case closed🙌🤣😋
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You can’t drink wine if you don’t know English coz every sip you must say ‘ as I was saying’
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Some married men will be watching Match in the bar with their side chick and still be screaming that the referee is cheating 😂 😂
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Today was the day I decided to be serious about life, I took a step that many of my friends can’t take. I went for HIV Testing and I came back very HAPPY because I found the Clinic closed…
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Some guys be calling their girlfriends “My Queen! My Queen!!” but when the Queen asks for 2k the kingdom scatter and the king disappears.
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*As u pray for a good wife, also pray she have good friends too because those idiots are the Board Of Directors 😂😂😂😂
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Ladies and their nonsense behaviours😏🤕
I said we should meet infront of a restaurant and you’re already inside reading the menu😢😢😒
Finish reading and meet me outside let’s discuss😎😎😊😂😹*
I hate indiscipline😔😔🤕
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My uncle saved his girlfriend number as Low Battery…whenever his phone ring and he is not around*…. *His wife just connect it to a charger and life goes on*…..
😂😂😂
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GIRL: I want to show you something.
BOY: Okay.
GIRL: Can we go inside the bedroom?
BOY: (excited) sure, we can.
GIRL: Can I switch off the light?
BOY: Go on.
GIRL: Can I close the curtains and
windows?
BOY: (very excited) Fast!
GIRL: Can I lock the door?
BOY: Wow! Yea immediately!
GIRL: I’m done, come closer.
BOY: Here I am (this will be amazing).
GIRL: I want to show you that my
watch has a light, you can use it to
check the time in darkness
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Jerry Seinfeld
I’m left-handed. Left-handed people do not like that the word ‘left’ is so often associated with negative things: Two left feet, left-handed compliments, ‘What are we having for dinner?’ ‘Leftovers.’ You go to a party, there’s nobody there. ‘Where’d they go?’ ‘They left. 😂
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Tobacco, Wine, Beer And Whiskey Are All Made From Plants…, I Think I May Be A Vegetarian!!
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i love it when someone begs me to go somewhere, awww😍 but nah im not coming
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*I miss the married women in the Bible who used to give their maids to their husbands as side-chicks*.
The current ones don’t read their Bibles. Only jealousy and selfishness .
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Some Ladies will closethe Door, close the Window just to Dress and
still Come out half Naked..!!
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That moment you’re laughing with your Mom then
she just Ask where is my yesterday’s Change..!! 🙄😳
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