90% of Africans can’t swim. They just walk around the pool like invigilators.

“If a guy dumps or breaks your heart, take his phone and leave. Call his mother and tell her he’s dead. You can’t be crying alone girl.
She must also feel the pain for not raising him well”

Her:Bbe I truly love you😍
Me: How do you know its love?😕
Her: Because when I think of you I can’t breath
Me:Nah maybe it’s ASTHMA

boy : Where Are You?
girl : I’m On My Way To Town I’m In My Father’s Mercedes Benz 🚗 Because The Bmw🚘 Is In The Services ☺️And You?
boy : I’m Sitting Behind You In The Taxi And I Just Wanted To Say Don’t Pay I Have Already Paid 4 you…

*If you can’t dance when you’re drunk at least speak English or promise people jobs don’t be useless and stop wasting alcohol

A husband visited a marriage counsellor and said: “When we were first married, I would come home from the office, my wife would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking.

Now after ten years it’s different. I come home, the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs around barking.”

The counsellor said : “Why complain. You are still getting the same service.
In corporate world it is called …

*Job Rotation*!”

If yr husband has refused to give u money for business go sell porridge at his working place and make sure everyone knows u are his wife

In a black household you can’t just leave, you have to cook or clean something in exchange for your absence. 🤣🤞🏽