She cant cook, clean, iron or wash…the only thing she knows is to be on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram 24/7…and she wants you to marry her.
My brother, her lobolla payment should be : 1gb data bundle, 10 likes and 5 comments

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance — particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as EPL 5.0, IPL 3.0, and PSL 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I’ve tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed, Desperate

Dear Desperate,

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.

Please enter the command “! http: I Thought You Loved Me.html” and try to download Tears 6.2 and don’t forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

But remember,overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources). Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program.

These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend! Food 3.0 and HotLingerie 7.7.

Good Luck, Tech Support

Her : Baby can I saw you today?

Me : I told you to leave English alone…😂 😂 😂

What would you have said if you were me?

Nothing makes a lady more happier when
she is about to leave a guy’s place and the guy says
“please pass me my wallet”

When you close the door to kill a snake and
the electricity goes off my brother thats
when you wll know that nobody can stop reggae. ..
you will keep jumping like a rasta man.

Kamo GETS HOME AT MID-NIGHT…HIS WIFE ALREADY ASLEEP WITH A BROKEN HEART..

Kamo :My wife, please open 4 me…
…
Wife:Where are u coming from in the middle of the night…U will sleep there outside..

Kamo : Please open or else l will throw myself in the swimming pool & drown as u know, l cant swim.
.
Wife: Go ahead & throw yourself, l don’t

care…kamo THEN TOOK A BIG ROCK & THREW IT IN THE POOL..WHEN HIS WIFE HEARD THE LOUD SPLASH, SHE PANICKED, OPENED THE DOOR & RUSHED OUTSIDE, WITH JUST HER PANT & BRA ON…IMMEDIATELY, kamo RAN INTO THE HOUSE AND LOCKED HIS WIFE OUTSIDE…

Wife: Wena kamo open 4 me, this is not funny at all…

Kamo : Just wait there, l’m phoning my relatives and yours & the neighbours, so that you explain to them where you are coming from, in the middle of the night naked…

Dear Girls…
If a guy tells you
👇
“Come to my house 🏠 I won’t Touch 🙌 you”
.
Tell him ” Come to Shoprite I won’t pick anything

Signs that shows your man is gay
1.He owns a gown
2.He eats 3 slices of bread
3.He owns silk sheets
4.He has long hair
5.Long nails
6.Takes 1 hour bath/shower
7.Pictures of topless man on his cell phone
8.Follows more guys than girls on social networks
9.Too many selfies of him pouting or biting his tongue
10.MOST IMPORTANTLY, He’s a Orlando Pirates FC fan

Some Girls are really poor in romance. you hit her with a pillow,
Boom she’s chasing you with a knife.

Just heard my ex was hit by a truck.
Oh lord I 🙏 pray nothing happens to the truck

I think im old enough now my parents
can move out of the house

if You Can’t Thank GOD For Anything ,
Atleast Thank GOD That Mosquitoes Can’t Transmit H.I.V

We beat up cheating boyfrnd for a living
Call us or Whatapp us on 0828676083
.
We are Fixing the Country.

I grow up know paper and silver money,
as for hair and nails money I didn’t know it

A Man And His Family Doctor Accidentally Meets In The Market.

Doctor: “How Is Your Headache Now?”

Patient: “Ohh, She Is Out Of Town.

Girl Is Going Into The Operation Theater For Her Heart Surgery.

She Holds Her Boyfriend’s Hand Tight & Said,

Girl: “I am Having Heart Surgery Today.”

Boy: “Yes I Know, Don’t Worry Baby.”

Girl: “I Love You.”

Boy: “I Love You The Most.”

After The Surgery, Girl Wakes Up And The Only One Next To Her Is Her Father.

Girl: “Where Is He?”

Father (Surprised): “Don’t You Know Who Gave You That Heart?”

Girl: “OMG, What? Noooooo (Starts Crying)”

Father: “I Am Just Kidding, He Went To The Toilet.“